Caffeinated Clint
By popular demand (well, two people suggested it) ‘Various News Items’ has reverted back to it’s old title : Clint’s Bits. If you’ve clicked thru expecting to see a shot of yours truly in his G.I Joe underoos, which are cheekily dancing just above my ankles, then you’ll be sadly disappointed. If, however, you simply want to read about what’s been going on in the world of film and TV – stories I deem not really worthwhile of a front-page news story – this should do the tick. Better still, you won’t need tissues. You find a bit more opinion injected into this column from now on.. but the world loves a smart-ass, right? – Clint Morris, Editor
Clint’s Bits – Various News Items for 1/5/09
– British filmmaker Mike Newell (“Harry Potter and the Goblet of the Fire”) has signed to direct Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer’s “Lone Ranger” starring Johnny Depp (He’s playing Tonto). I wasn’t that crazy about the last couple of “Pirates” movies, and though this does serve as somewhat of an unrelated reunion movie for most of the cast and crew, I hear Ted Elliot & Terry Rossio’s script for “Ranger” is a lot of fun. Sure to be a hit regardless of what the disgruntled thirty-something film reviewer in Australia says, right? (Production Weekly)
– Asked about the recent “Clueless 2” rumours (A tabloid site suggested Alicia Silverstone was in talks to reprise Cher for a belated follow-up), Amy Heckerling simply laughed. I’m assuming that’s her way of telling us, um, ‘No, no truth to the rumours’?
– Some may even want to risk traveling on a swine-flu ridden international flight to get to the “Star Trek” premiere in Hollywood. Have you seen the awesome set-up Paramount has constructed for it? Check it
– A couple of bits of “Iron Man 2” news hit the web while I was stuck in a screening of “Fanboys” (my review is here) this morning. Firstly, USA Today had the first picture from the film (hey! Isn’t that the guy that used to bang Ally McBeal!?); Secondly, Director Jon Favreau mentioned on Twitter that “Mad Men” and “Jack & Bobby” star (What a fuss the WB made about the show, hey?!) John Slattery has a small role in the film.
– Entertainment Weekly has a – what’s the technical term? Oh yeah – Shitload of pictures from some of the upcoming Summer flicks, including “Inglourious Basterds” (Fuck, I hate the spelling of that thing) and Michael Mann’s “Public Enemies”.
– This bloody Swine Flu is not only causing wide-spread panic, but hurting the economy. One of the industries hurt by the outbreak has been the film industry, more precisely, the Mexican-based film distributors. Not only has “Wolverine” been pushed back, but now The Hollywood Reporter says “Terminator Salvation” and “Angels & Demons” will be pushed back. (What’s everyone’s take on the Flu!? Are we all done for, or is a whole lot of people over-reacting!? One of the state officials here in Australia has advised households to stock up and buy two weeks worth of groceries, just in case. Jumping the gun, ya think!?).
– J.J ‘Star Trek’ Abrams tells IGN Movies that he still plans to direct a feature film adaptation of Stephen King’s “Dark Tower” series. What he doesn’t say is that it’ll happen post- “Star Trek 2 : The Gorge of Grunberg”.
– Warner Bros (They’d be the gang making us wait so long for another “Batman” movie) have acquired the rights to the Japanese manga anime-series “Death Note” – a DVD of which I believe I have around here somewhere, but I’m betting it’s still wrapped in plastic. Worth watching? (Variety)
– “Friday the 13th” (the crap one, not the good one) director Marcus Nispel will helm “The Last Voyage of Demeter”, says Variety. It’s reportedly based on a chapter in Bram Stoker’s original ‘Dracula’ novel in which a bunch of dumb fucks escort the Vampire King from Bulgaria to England and end up his lunch.
– Speaking of sucking, remember “Spawn”? Yeah, that one; that’s ten bucks I’m not getting back either, so don’t snivel. Anyway, they’re going to re-do it… and this time without John Leguizamo-in-the-fat-suit, and Martin Sheen in a wacky-looking beard. Creator Todd MacFarlane tells IESB.net that he’s had several offers from different shingles interested in rebooting the series. The comic/toy magnate says he’d like to make it smaller, because a bigger movie means there’s more of a chance some studio heavies will fuck this one up like they did the first.
– I love David Slade; I’d probably watch him take a Nikon to a serve of dog poop. Thankfully it won’t come to that. The “30 Days of Night” director – soon to helm “Twilight” threequel “Eclipse” – has been hired to direct “Cold Skin”. (Variety)
– The International Teaser Trailer for “G.I Joe : The Rise of Cobra” – which looks absolutely ridiculous, yet will probably be worthwhile, if only because Stephen Sommers is behind it – is up at Allocine.
– Neglected to mention yesterday that Ab King sent along a link to a behind-the-scenes video from Sylvester Stallone’s all-star Protein Shake Commercial “The Expendables”. And yes, that is Stallone referring ‘Sex’ to a small Plane.
– Production Weekly’s Twitter page is reporting that Keanu Reeves is set to play an undercover cop whose managed to convince the members of a drug cartel that he’s as nasty as they are (snigger) in “Cartegena”. Clive Owen was previously attached – – until the producers of “Cartegena” saw “The International”.
– Katie Cassidy (Yeah, the poor guy who snagged a lead role in the big-screen version of “Dallas” a couple of years ago only to be later informed that “um, it won’t be happening”) has joined the cast of “A Nightmare on Elm Street”. Cassidy will be a regular on the new “Melrose Place” by the time the ‘Freddy’ reboot hits theaters. (Shock Til You Drop)
– Russell Mulcahy (“Resident Evil : Extinction”, “The Scorpion King : Rise of a Warrior”) will direct “Bait”, according to Twitchfilm. The 3-D horror flick tells of shoppers at an underground supermarket who find themselves “terrorized by a crazed bandit when the unimaginable occurs… A monstrous freak tsunami swallows the town. Now trapped inside a flooded supermarket with an armed maniac and rushing water threatening to entomb them all in a watery grave, the imprisoned band of survivors discover they’re not alone”. I’ll take two!
– New reviews posted for “X-Men Origins : Wolverine” (Drew’s Review Here, Brian’s Review Here), “Ghosts of Girlfriend’s Past” (Captain’s Review Here, Brian’s Review Here), and “Into the Blue 2 : The Reef“.
– My buddy Michael Ausiello at Entertainment Weekly has posted a Fall TV Show Cheat Sheet which you’ll be able to check out, and return to, to see whether your favourite show is staying or going. Personally, I’m hoping FOX give “Terminator : The Sarah Connor Chronicles” another shot.
Clint’s Bits : Film Reccomendation of the Day
The Firm – Cheesy but entertaining (if a bit long) film adaptation of the John Grisham novel starring Tom Cruise (looking ever so young), Jeanne Tripplehorn, Gene Hackman (reminding us why we wish he worked more these days), and “Cocoon” coot turned portly rent-a-cop prick Wilford Brimley. Didn’t think much of it when I saw it in the theaters in the early 90s, but like most of the Grisham-novels-cum-movies, it’s grown on me – like a wart.
