Caffeinated Clint
They mightn’t be as prevalent as what they were, say, ten or fifteen years ago but the trusty – or is that ‘tricky’? – old direct-to-video sequel is still very much a ‘thing’. Whether it’s the umpteenth Tremors sequel, a follow-up to a Wesley Snipes movie you’ve never heard of, or a very belated and astonishingly bad sequel to a classic (hello “A Christmas Story 2”!), Walmart still stocks new theatre-bypassing sequels each and every year. To be fair, I’m a big fan of the DTV sequel, a good lot of these films are actually very decent – check out “Cult of Chucky”, “Undisputed II : Last Man Standing”, “Universal Soldier : Regeneration”, “Death Race 2”, and “Starship Troopers 3 : Marauder”, for example, and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I’ll always watch them. Well, most of them. But, I guess, for every “The Lion King 2”, which is super solid, there’s an “Escape Plan II”. Don’t sit through that crap without first considering shaving your butt with a sharp, slime-infused toothbrush for fun.
Here’s five you mightn’t know were on the way for 2019 :
‘GRAND’ DADDY DAY CARE
Available : Feb 5
Danny Trejo, Julia Duffy, James Hong, and Barry Bostwick are the more recognizable faces in this latest direct-to-video sequel to the Eddie Murphy ‘comedy classic’.
“When Frank Collins (Reno Wilson) suffers from writer’s block, he decides to start a day care for his father-in-law (Danny Trejo) and other seniors as a way to make quick cash, while giving him time to still work on his next book. Eventually getting a small group to care for, Frank soon learns that these are not your typical seniors and they can’t easily be corralled. With a code enforcement officer challenging the legality of his business, and his senior charges getting into all kinds of trouble, Frank’s work days become anything but effortless. Featuring an all-star cast of TV’s greatest stars, Grand-Daddy Day Care is a hilarious story for the young, and young at heart.”
Hey, it’s a two-fer! A “Grumpy Old Men” sequel and a “Daddy Day Care” sequel in one! Boom!
BENCHWARMERS 2 : BREAKING BALLS
Available : Jan 29
Jon Lovitz is the only returning cast member from Dennis Dugan’s laffer – Adam Sandler, Jon Heder and Rob Schneider must have been playing beer pong the weekend it was shot – to return for the ‘surprise’ sequel.
‘’Ben McGrath (Chris Klein) had major league potential playing professional baseball, but his hopes to play ball literally get crushed. Down on his luck, Ben gets another swing at redemption as a new attorney for Schmood & Associates. His unorthodox boss, Mel (Jon Lovitz), convinces him to manage their eclectic softball team full of misfits and strikeouts. Together, will they have enough spirit to rally and win it all?’’
In addition to 1999 it-boy Chris Klein, the film also stars Lochlyn Munro – who really should be doing a “Dead Man on Campus” spin-off than this. I’m serious. Universal, get on that.
JARHEAD : LAW OF RETURN
Available : TBA
They’ve made a couple of sequels to the Jake Gyllenhaal/Sam Mendes satirical war gem “Jarhead” but can’t say I’ve seen any of them. Maybe I should wait until “Law of Return” – directed by Don Michael Paul, who helmed some of the better, later “Tremors” movies, so it could be quite decent – is released, and make it a movie marathon of “Jarhead” movie magic!?
“This is the harrowing & detailed story, chronicling the dangerous extraction of a downed Israeli fighter pilot, taken captive by a Hezbollah faction in Syria, rescued by a Special ops team comprised of the 2nd Marine Raiders, headed by lifetime soldier, Gunnery Sergeant Flores, & the Israeli Reconnaissance Unit 269.”
UNDERCOVER BROTHER 2
Available : TBA
Um, this one is about the ‘brother’ of the ‘brother’ – so, the Undercover Brother’s Brother. L. Warren Young and Njema Williams are among the cast.
“In the present day, The Brotherhood is still fighting back against The Man – not a metaphor. After perishing in an avalanche years ago, Lionel is found alive, while his brother, the infamous Undercover Brother, remains in a coma. Determined to seek revenge against The Man and prove himself as more than just Undercover Brother’s Brother, Lionel uses his own unique brand of funk & disguise to save the world.”
They’ve been trying to get an “Undercover Brother” sequel going for years… pity for Eddie Griffin it didn’t happen when his house was still listed on the Map of Stars.
ESCAPE PLAN 3 : DEVIL’S STATION
Available : TBA
Sylvester Stallone follows up another commanding, memorable and very touching performance as Rocky Balboa (in “Creed 2”) with a…. who was he in “Escape Plan” again? And what did he even do in the recent “Escape Plan 2”, besides donate his face to the DVD sleeve?
As both a fan of action flicks and Sly Stallone, I’m truly hoping that “Escape Plan 3”, because it has the talented and capable John Herzfield directing, is more “Escape Plan” than “Escape Plan 2”. Sure I’m not alone.
“In this installment, the daughter of a Hong Kong tech executive goes missing in what appears to be a routine ransom job. As Breslin (Stallone) and his crew delve deeper, they discover the culprit is the deranged son of his former business partner, who also kidnapped the woman in Breslin’s life, and is holding her inside the massive prison known as Devil’s Station.”
A good cast, including Dave Bautista, Jaime King, Daniel Bernhardt, Devon Sawa and Harry Shum Jr from “Crazy Rich Asians” to star alongside Stallone.
