Send Your Letters Here

Where’s the Mailbag Chump? – Jon

Right here where I left it, douche

Clint, I wish Hardwicke would do the first part of Breaking Dawn if Summit insists upon 2 parts… She doesn’t know the CG as much, but I think she knew how to get the best out of Kristen & Rob, compared to Weitz… Hardwicke knew the romance, if nothing else and I think BD part 1 could use her touch again. Then another director for part 2 where there’s gonna be more CG and fight sequences… I wish MovieHole would cover more of the Twilight Saga and Summit there-in… – Craig

If we covered any more of the Twilight saga you’d be sticking up your seat, sir. Personally, I think we cover it enough – we’re only a thumbnail away from being officially declared a webbly wet spot for lycanthropes, and I don’t want to be responsible for a resurgence in confused teenage boy’s fainting in computer rooms.

Clint,
I know your friends with Kevin Smith but please, tell him “Cop Out’ sucked – Jonathan

Tell him yourself, I’ve just handed over your email address.

Re: Mortal Kombat Reboot,
I enjoyed the first film for what it was at the time and I loathed the sequel. I’ve wanted to see another film for ages but I always knew it would be better if it was done as a reboot, so on that account I’m happy about this current news.
However about this director who is supposedly on board the reboot – where do they get these guys? The odds against this guy being a huge fan of Mortal Kombat who knows the franchise inside and out is pretty slim. I’ll have to reserve judgement until later I suppose.
There is a large range of opportunity to do things better with this reboot and of course there is a large range of things that can be done to ruin it. As a fan of the series I just want something enjoyable that has great stunts and fight sequences without too many characters being jammed into the story.
Look forward to more news as you get it – Rod

Rod, first of all, full disclosure – I’m good friends with Christopher ‘Mink’ Morrison, the chap who has been attached to direct “Mortal Kombat 3” for a few years now. Now, believe me when I tell you I’m not blowing smoke up the guy’s ass when I assure you he’s as big a fan of comics, video-games and, markedly, Mortal Kombat, as you can get. The guy has been living and breathing this project for years -studying every angle, level, maneuver, and incarnation that’s come out of the Midway (now Warner) game. Heck, I’ve even heard rumours he’s counted the arse hairs on Christopher Lambert’s buttocks. But as you’ll have read, there’s big problems with this film right now – there’s a legal battle brewing between former owners, Midway, and new owners, Warners – so it doesn’t really matter who’s directing, or supposedly directing, and it doesn’t much matter if he or she has ever picked up a joystick, because, quite frankly, at this stage, the film isn’t happening.

Hi Clint. I really liked your Predators piece. It reminded me when i saw the film.
It was 1987 from memory. I brought that film magazine. It was the only one around at that time and i remember reading the preview of Predator and being really pumped.
I was sitting in the lobby at the cinema in Hornsby and you could hear the sounds of the final battle coming through the wall. We were sitting on couches busting to get in.
When i saw the film. It lived up to big expectations. Best wishes – Mitchell

Hey Mitchell, yep, I really think there should be a nice coffee table book out there – ‘Memories of Predator’. But that’s just me. My “Predator 2” experience wasn’t nearly as exciting, or memorable. I was on a family vacation at the beach… somewhere. Remember flicking open the local newspaper and seeing an ad for the film. Tag line ‘He’s in town. With a few days to kill’ jumped out at me. As did the picture of Danny Glover (and his wobbly gun) pointed at a purple silhouette besides the film’s critically-maligned review. I don’t know whether it’s because even back then I took notice of reviews, particularly the negative ones, or whether it was because of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s absence, but I just wasn’t that keen. As a consequence, it’d be about two weeks before I saw “Predator 2”. And yeah, it was about as good as I’d predicted it to be. Not to say it was a bad film, it wasn’t, it just wasn’t “Predator”. But the extraction of the ‘Directed by John McTiernan’ title card in favour of a ‘Directed by Stephen Hopkins’ one tipped us off to that right from the get-go.

Hi Clint,
I was going to post something to you about Corey on Twitter, but it’s not working for me for some reason. Anyways, just wanted to say what a horrible tragedy this is. I was a young boy during the two Coreys’ reign during the 80s. Loved them and their movies. After ”The Lost Boys” and ”License To Drive”, I wanted to be Corey Haim. Lol. This has hit us 80s kids particularly hard. Not going to be the same watching these movies. I hope Corey Feldman is okay, and that the two of them were at a decent place in their relationship when Corey passed.- Barry

Hi Barry, thanks for the note. And you’ll be happy to know Feldman and Haim did patch things up in recent times. They were even, sorry to break it to you guys, looking at doing another movie together.

Hey Clint, was Corey Haim’s character in “Lost Boys 3”?

I don’t know how to answer that. Um, kinda. Sorta. But he wouldn’t have been needed.

Hey Clint,
I know you’ve been good friends with Corey Feldman for years. Can you let me him know we’re all thinking of him during this tough time?- Sandra

Just did. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.

Why can’t someone good die like that guy from Baywatch! Death to all 80s icons!- Lina
And it’s people like you that make me so proud to be part of the web community, knob. Sending you a poisonous postage stamp for your time.

I’m sure you are as frustrated as I am with hollywood rebooting movies, let alone rebooting movies less than ten years old (the only Reboot I particularly liked was The Incredible Hulk…but then again it was more of a workable mismash. Casino Royale was good but me and a lot of Bond fans I know are beginning to miss the “History” of it all. It stuck around so long for a reason… true it was losing depth fast, but all that takes is a good story and a new director. Now things like Blofeld, Spectre, James’ Wife…etc are completely gone..and for true fans of the film, those emotional moments are now being replaced with one’s that just don’t seem to hold as much oomph to the universe. And after watching fight scenes in Quantum of Solace be almost a shot by shot rip off of some Jason Bourne fights…
already this rebooted series is starting to lose depth. In my own honest and humble opinion, I think although the two newest films are good enough to be Bond, I think maybe they should go the way of Never Say Never Again…but again, just my opinion). That was a long parenthetical, I apologize… I’ll step off my soapbox.
Anyway, the reason I’m writing is mainly to vent (and most of that is out of the way). I just read the article on The Reboot of The Bourne Series. My first reaction was absolute repulsion… but being a fan of both books and film, I am kind of curious what pre-amnesia Bourne would be… and I am also very keenly interested in the franchise (and character) becoming bigger than the star and living on. I’ll be there for the prequel, as long as the studio keeps the original trilogy canon. They could also carry on past the third one and do stuff with Carlos The Jackal (who was the main villain in the first book). But then again, I don’t think the studio really cares what I think.
Anyway, thank you for hearing me out. Sorry to bother you and all that. – Danny

First of all, yep, I’m as fucked off as the next old bastard when it comes to Hollywood remaking and rebooting all the greats. Shit, give it five years and they’ll be rebooting the Batman and X-Men series again. And tell me Fox aren’t likely considering a “Die Hard” reboot starring “Kick-Ass” fave Chloe Moretz as ‘Joan’ McClane? As for “Bourne”, I’m with you – I’d much rather see a continuation of the Matt Damon-starring series, rather than the ‘prequel’ they’re likely going to do now that Damon and director Paul Greengrass have taken a leak on the project. Hell, they don’t even need to bring back Damon for a third sequel – they could simply pass the ‘Jason Bourne’ I.D to another agent, and have him take on whatever villain they have in mind – maybe your Carlos the Jackal? Whatever the case, fuck ’em.

Clint,
fuckin’ love your Caffeinated Clint. It’s amazing how many of these has-been actors you know! And I recently read you’ve worked with C.Thomas Howell a couple of times, too. How did you get in with all these guys? – Will

Oh, you don’t know? I played ‘Goober’, Arnold’s redneck step-cousin, on “Diff’rent Stores”.

Clint, you’re a man with inside connections. Tell me, will Rick Moranis be coming out of retirement for “Ghostbusters 3”? What’s the chances? – Sally

Um, I’d say there’s a 20 percent chance. You’ll have more luck squeezing into Keira Knightley’s boob tube. Moranis’ reluctance to return to the film world is likely the reason why Disney has decided to reboot the “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” franchise too.

I know you have something to do with Death Race 2. Do you know if any characters from the first film are returning – Rick

Yeah, two are coming back – Frederick Koehler is back as Lists and Robin Shou is onboard to play 14-k again.

That “Alice in Wonderland” remake sucked! – Styx

Don’t look at me. I’m not that one who teabagged Dick Cook to get it made!

People are raving about “Leaves of Grass” – that new Edward Norton film. Is it any good? – Brian

I’ll probably have my Blockbuster Video card sliced into two by saying this, but I personally preferred “The Incredible Hulk”. Having said that, Norton does pull of the ‘twins’ thing – and Keri Russell is as damn cute as ever in it.

Hey, you mentioned “My Stepmother is an Alien” on your Twitter the other day… what’s Joseph Maher doing these days? – Linda Mayne

He spends his time sniffing cloud dust off Marilyn Chamber’s breasts with the Almighty one. Sorry to break it to you sir, but Maher died in 1998.

Where’s Holden? – Harrison

I dunno… where’s your Momma? We find her, we find Holden.