Caffeinated Clint
Let us stroll down hand-in-hand to the flea market and play barter with the studio execs.
There’s plenty of franchises we don’t want to see rebooted – pick any rebooted series, other than Bond, and bingo! Never asked for it! – but there’s just as many out there that we, speaking on your behalf here kids, wouldn’t mind you toying with. And there’s possibly some good potential in some of these offerings, too. Hollywood – here are five franchises we’d be fine with you rebooted. Heck, the web might even throw you a bone and blow some positive vibes your way, if only in the hope that you actually improve that original series.
“Critters”
Perfect late night entertainment – that first (Okay, maybe second one too) one anyway. The other twenty five sequels were about as necessary as a muzzle on a teapot.
Bring back the little critters, make them scary again, ground them on Earth and have them eat up a Kardashian (or two) in the pre-credits sequence? Bam! Off to the races.
“Ghoulies”
The inebriated sleazoid uncle’s version of “Critters”, this franchise never really hit its peak – though the poster with the emerald turd crawling out of the toilet was pretty cool.
Surely kids are hankering for a series of films about monstrous freaks that emerge from lavatories?
“Iron Eagle”
Considering the original – as fun as it was and as cool as the Jason Gedrick/Lou Gossett Jr union was – was merely produced to get in on some of that “Top Gun” money anyway, I don’t see the harm in giving this name another thrashing. The few sequels that followed the 1986 original we’re absolute tripe, too. So yeah.. go redo Chappy.
“Kickboxer”
The original was one of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s best flicks – and the one in which he displays some of his more wicked fight moves – but considering the template was merely a rejigged “Karate Kid”, and only one of the many sequels that the 1988 film followed was watchable (the second, starring Sasha Mitchell as the brother of Van Damme’s character), nobody will argue a restart to this series – so long as it sticks to basic biffo and doesn’t go as off-the-rails as most of the instalments in the unyielding franchise did.
“Cannonball Run”
The original flicks, headlined by the likes of Burt Reynolds and anyone else who’d ever gotten both a free spa room and BJ in Vegas, were lots of fun. But they’re simple to reproduce – just cram the flick with famous faces, rip off of an episode of cartoon flick “Wacky Races”, and have someone come up with a cool poster. Done! Surely Clooney’s right on this like a giggly 19 year old nymph , right!?
