The Cynical Optimist 03/03/08

A Still-Bourne Franchise
First off, lets talk about the Oscars – What the fuck is going on in the world when “The Golden Compass” beats out “Transformers” in the visual effects department? Seriously, is that the Academy’s idea of a joke? That movie sucked, and its ‘special’ effects are nothing Coca-Cola commercials haven’t been doing for 16 years. OH MY GOD, fucking TALKING polar bears! Quick, someone call Eddie Murphy because we’re gonna need Dr. Dolittle to get outta this one!

Where was the groundbreaking technology in “The Golden Compass” that was worthy of such acclaim? At least “At World’s End” and “Transformers” had amazingly intricate, downright beautiful work from those geniuses at ILM. All “The Golden Compass” had was the ability to completely bore me and rip off every other fantasy franchise in its running time.

Then there’s that business of “The Bourne Ultimatum” winning 3 Oscars for editing, sound editing and sound mixing. Again, what the fuck is with “Transformers” getting snubbed across the board? So, some of you might hate me for saying this but I’ve never been impressed with the Bourne movies. They’re all completely derivative and indulgent in their complete lack of originality or excitement. They’re like James Bond flicks, only worse.

All three of those Bourne films ran together into one big mess for me. Oh look there’s some new assassin hot on the trail of Bourne, but wait it’s okay because he’s going to go through this ridiculously absurd car chase that will leave the street in chaos but Matt Damon without a scratch. Oh! We just learned a new part about Matt’s past – oh but that’s right we don’t care because it’s the same exact formula as the last two films.

I’m glad the undercooked, overdramatic spy thriller pulled down 3 Oscars because that sets up for suicide-inducing news: There will be a Bourne 4. Hurray! It’s finally time to see the epic conclusion in “The Bourne Redundancy” or perhaps “The Bland Stupidity.”

Still Scratchin’ My Claws on “Wolverine.”

Did you see the new pictures from “Wolverine?” Those production stills of Jackman are pretty encouraging I suppose, as he does looks pretty badass. Then there’s that carnival set, which I would imagine is where we’ll see a handful of mutant cameos. Even though the casting has frankly scared the shit out of me, I’ll still see this movie and hopfully, find something enjoyable in it.

It really all depends on how Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) and fellow Weapon-Xers come out. Deadpool is one of my favorite characters, and Reynolds seems like a) the perfect choice for him because they are both smartasses but b) the complete wrong choice b/c Deadpool wears a mask 98% of the time, and when he takes it off he’s horribly disfigured. We all know the studio will certainly want to take advantage of Reynolds’ name and face, so I’m sure something will be altered there… and that’s disappointing because both of those physical attributes greatly shape his character, not that anyone at Fox cares about that.

Hey, check it out – I got to Interview someone awesome!

(MELBOURNE) For the most part, Ed Dolista is just like the rest of us. He gets up every morning at 6 a.m., drives a ‘lovely’ 45-minute commute, earns a paycheck and comes home to relax in front of the television with his wife.

What sets Dolista apart from the rest of us is the unique, eclectic collection of careers he’s amassed so far. Since graduating from Deakin University, Dolista has been a public affairs officer, web developer, radio personality, professional actor and most recently, an educator teaching Drama and Multimedia to teenagers.

Dolista has performed alongside Guy Pearce and Portia de Rossi in “The King and I” and starred in numerous theatre productions including Les Miserables, Romeo and Juliet, and Little Shop of Horrors. He’s the brains behind Comic Genius Productions and takes time to fill the boots of a super hero for a leading children’s charity.

On top of all of this, Ed Dolista hosts the Indy-Cast, a podcast devoted to everyone’s favorite fedora-wearing explorer, Indiana Jones.

As a 14-year-old boy playing in his parents’ backyard, Dolista’s admiration for Indiana Jones was captured on celluloid. “I got so enamored by the Indy films that I made a 15-minute Super 8mm Indiana Jones movie called ‘The Curse of the Maltese Falcon’ in 1984,” recalled Dolista. The budget for his first flick was a daunting $150. His parents were behind the camera and friends played Nazis that ran for cover in bunkers near the beach where he lived.

He even made a sequel, “The Temple of Peril.” “In that one, Mola Ram [whose headgear was made out of polystyrene packing] pulled out a sheep’s heart from a dummy on our ceremonial alter,” Dolista said. He admits it was actually just a brick BBQ his father had made. “My parents didn’t realize what they were getting into!”

Unfortunately, the Indiana Jones trilogy was completed in 1989 with “The Last Crusade,” which left Dolista and fellow Indy fans with nothing but hope to grasp on to. Sure enough, after 19 years hope finally delivered. The long-awaited fourth installment in the series, “Indiana Jones in the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” spurred Dolista into combining his passion for Indy with his knowledge of radio multimedia to create something new.

As a radio personality, Dolista had hosted “Disco Fever,” a two-hour music show on a Melbourne radio station, for 18 years and decided to hang it up. “I retired with the potential to do something called ‘podcasting’ – in fact I wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but it sounded cool,” Dolista said.

A podcast is a collection of media files, often in an mp3 format, that is very much like a radio program. These podcasts are uploaded to syndication feeds which allow mp3 players like iPods to download new episodes as they’re made available.

It was a new venture for Dolista. He got his first opportunity through another podcast known as “The Force-Cast,” an all Star Wars show hosted by Jason Swank and Pete Nadel.

“I had been listening to ‘The Force-Cast’ and Jason and Pete would do an Indy segment, which was great but I think a few fans wanted the podcast to stay all Star Wars,” Dolista said. Shortly thereafter, Dolista emailed the show about doing a podcast strictly devoted to Indy to which the hosts responded with a request for a recorded pilot.

“They liked what I did, so I got the gig and 16 episodes later I’m still going and having a ball,” Dolista said.

“The Indy-Cast” is one of the only Indiana Jones podcasts on the Internet. So if you have a craving for bullwhips, fedoras and golden idols, odds are you’ve already ran across it. “I try to offer a show that is spoiler-free and informative but that doesn’t take itself too seriously,” joked Dolista.

Just like an Indy movie, the pace of Dolista’s show is fast and fun, with each episode only running about 15 minutes in length. In that amount of time Dolista covers news about the films as well as segments on collectables and merchandise; video games and books. There is even a listener feedback segment.

“One of my favorite segments is the listener feedback, where I get tales of listeners’ first experiences with Indy, plenty of questions and even pictures of listeners in Indy garb,” Dolista said.

As Crystal Skull’s release date grows closer, Dolista hopes to add more to the program. “I certainly would like to include some interviews with artists, authors or anyone who is involved with the Indy franchise,” he said.

After “The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” hits theaters, Dolista plans to continue the podcast as long as there are listeners providing reviews and for novels, comics and other Indy adventures.

“And if Steven Spielberg, George Lucas or Harrison Ford want to phone in, I wouldn’t mind that either,” Dolista said.

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To check out “The Indy-Cast,” visit the iTunes store and search for “The Force-Cast,” which shares a feed with Dolista’s program or go to TheForce.Net for more info.

And Finally…

Last week’s episode of Lost, episode 4.05: “The Constant” was by far my favorite episode of the show ever. If you’re still not watching this show for some reason, or you gave up on it in the beginnings of season 3, then you’re an idiot. Go out right now and rent the first 3 seasons because the show is just getting better and better!