Caffeinated Clint
with Clint Morris
After what happened in London yesterday, it’s hard to be droll – but we’ve gotta keep going on I suppose. Let’s just hope, one day, we get these sick bastards. Our best to friends and families affected by what’s happened over there.
15 Things We learnt this Week..
1 : That both Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman’s latest films have flopped in the U.S. Think it’s maybe time for them both to smell the “Eucalyptus” and return home to do a “Love in Limbo” and “Bush Christmas” sequel, respectively. Either that or make sure they get their publicists to set them up with a much-younger actor or actress to help plug the bejesus out of their next summer Blockbuster. Crowe and Hilary Duff, or Kidman and Jonathan Lipnicki? An idea to ponder for next year.
2 : That Warner are considering filming two “Batman” sequels back to back. Anyone else smell ‘This suit is starting to get hot, sweaty and itchy’ echoes from Bale’s camp, who might be looking for an exit after the next one? Nice safeguard!
3 : That PJ’s redo of “King Kong” doesn’t look like much to me. After all, I’ve already seen a Gorilla and a T-Rex fight it out….or is that Brigitte Nielsen and Flavor Flav on “The Surreal Life” I’m thinking of?
4 : That Ioan Gruffudd (what I tell ya? What I tell ya?!) has re-emerged as the favourite to take on the role of 007. Either that or he’s just trying to get the press to talk to him about anything other than the comic misfire he’s got out at the moment. More chance of a sequel to “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”, than “Fantastic Four”, I’d say.
5 : That a third “I Know what You Did Last Summer” was announced yesterday. Breasts are being auditioned this week.
6 : That George Miller is still planning to do a “Mad Max 4” and Mel Gibson’s expediently relocated to barren Istanbul.
7 : That everyone hates that new “Backstreet Boys” song….or so they say, and then turn their back to rock their knee to it in time.
8 : That Hilary Duff’s turning 18 in September. No real reason for mentioning it. Just thought it might brighten up a couple of perv’s day.
9 : That that annoying “Crazy Fog” ringtone is about to be it’s own computer-game. I assume the goal of it is trying to find the frog’s suddenly indiscernible manhood?
10 : That Cillian Murphy’s supposed to be one of the hottest guys in the world….yet, in some of his publicity stills….he looks like Michael Jackson. Has the King of Pop broke into film and we haven’t even noticed? (I mean, think about it, “Scarecrow”?)
11 : That it’s ridiculous talking about the casting rumours of “Batman Begins 2” at this early stage. Oh, but did you hear? Jim Carrey’s keen to return to the franchise to play The Joker (and unfortunately, that’s true) – having already played The Riddler in “Batman Forever”. Ironically, Warner are now screening calls.
12 : That Sharon Stone’s using a body double for most of the sex scenes in “Basic Instinct 2”. No punchline, just wanted you to ponder that thought – I mean, ten years ago, she’d get her garb off for her kid’s soccer match.
13 : That patrons actually took up the cinema offering to refund their admission to “Cinderella Man” if they didn’t like it. Another line had to be formed for “The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D”.
14 : That Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie must be having to change the sheets every few hours at the moment. Yeah, that was uncalled for – – but like wax in the ear, it just wanted to come out.
15 : That I found that 3rd disc of “Enterprise”. It was, um, buried beneath another disc. (Hey, who said, underneath disc 2 of Enterprise?!)
