Caffeinated Clint
If I were going to suggest one movie for you all to watch this Halloween it’d be “The Exorcist” – the film that’s had me leaking yellow since I was a kid.
This thing is the shizzle dizzle, the ant’s pants, the cat’s meow, the bubbles on the coke. While so-called horror films like “House of Wax” (The Joel Silver/Paris Hilton one) and “Saw 4” evoke nothing but laughs, Billy Friedkin’s “Exorcist” sends your goosebumps straight to the surface… it’s that frightening a movie. And all these years later, it still works a treat!
I remember first hearing about the film as a kid – wasn’t dare going to watch it though; in fact, I think I recall my mother banning me from it (which says a lot considering I’d already seen “Saturday Night Fever” and “Zapped” by the time I was 7). Fair enough, I was probably only 8 at the time and had already been tainted enough by whatever soft-porn Bo Derek flick I’d watched the previous week. I actually remember my mother and her boyfriend at the time watching it on television – – it was the ‘movie event’ that week, so it must’ve been the television premiere or something? (God, how edited would that have been!?) – – and doing whatever they could to keep us kids – my brother and I – in our bedrooms. They succeeded – if only because I didn’t dare travel towards the room showing this god-awful scary movie.
Good thing, too – that thing would’ve kept us up for months! But even then, just knowing there was some terrifying film on TV had me not just intrigued but a little jumpy… Yep, I hadn’t even seen it, let alone heard much about the film, and yet I was slightly rattled. Man, the power of the Friedkin!
(Speaking of, Years later, when I met William Friedkin I was absolutely taken back by how normal… and how kind… this man was. He truly isn’t what you’d imagine the ‘director of the scariest film ever made’ to look like, let alone act like. He was a gentleman. In fact, it was a similar situation with Wes Craven – he’s made some crazy scary-ass movies, but yet is probably the most ‘normal’ person on the planet.)
But even those that read William Peter Blatty’s book were spooked by it – and they essentially had to dream up the images of a demonic Reagan in their own heads!
In an interview with IGN, Blatty told of how John Calley, then at Warner, had to sleep with the light on after having only read the book. His pooch had to sleep with him too – – –
“John read it at his home at night. He was in bed. John told me he got spooked. He was alone in the house, and it was creepy. So he said… (patting the table) whatever the dog’s name was… “Come on up on the bed here.” The dog had up until then been forbidden EVER to get on the bed. He got whipped if he got on the bed. “No, no… come on, come on.” (patting the table again). The dog wouldn’t come up. It ended up in a titanic struggle between Calley and the dog. Calley was dragging the dog up, the dog is pining and digging his claws into the wooden floor. He finally got him up on the bed. He realized at that moment, I think, that the book was hot. He was terrified.”
“The Exorcist” was everything I feared (in a good way) it would be – frightening, believable, and emotive. There’s not a blemish in that movie, its horror gold. The performances are spot-on (Linda Blair is especially scary!), the direction is marvellous (Friedkin deserves to still be in work – if only he’d stay away from dud scripts, hey?), and the make-up and effects guys outdid themselves. You can’t take your eyes off the screen for a minute – I tell ya, not even Heather Thomas’s bare breasts could’ve turned my attention from that first viewing. I was glued to it like cum on a Vivid DVD sleeve.
Speaking of, there’s a newly-added scene in the ‘Version You’ve Never Seen’ – aka ‘the director’s cut – that’s friggin creepy…. It’s the bit where Reagan spider-walks down the stairs… twisted… tormented… overrun by the demonic prick within.
What’s scary about that scene is that – like other parts of the movie – it’s real.
‘’It’s based on some kind of reality”, Blatty told IGN. “In the alleged victims of possession that I studied, in almost every case they are not ambulatory people. They’re not CPAs by day committing serial murders at night. They’re not anything in these movies like The Fallen. These people are very ill, and they’re subject to psychomotor seizures. And it’s associated with hysteria because they have no other name for it. And some of the victims of alleged possession or hysteria were noted to be able to do things such as… one girl was described as bending over backwards until her head was touching the floor, and shrieking in pain the entire time as though she were being forced, somewhat coerced to do this. And that was the genesis in my mind of the Spider Walk.”
Aside from say the recent “Exorcism of Emily Rose” – which featured some pretty distributing stuff- “The Exorcist” takes sequences that might otherwise come off as corny and laughable in another horror movie, say like the ‘pea soup’ scene, and douses them in credibility cordial.
Another thing I love about the film are all the quick and flashy subliminal (though there’s not exactly subliminal since we can see it) sequences – did I just see what I thought I saw?
Quite controversial this was.
Friedkin explained, “I saw subliminal cuts in a number of films before I ever put them in The Exorcist, and I thought it was a very effective storytelling device… The subliminal editing in The Exorcist was done for dramatic effect – to create, achieve, and sustain a kind of dreamlike state”.
And then, on the other end of the scale, is “Exorcist : The Beginning“, one of the most laughable horror movies ever made. It’s an absolute fucking shambles. There’s not one bonafide scare in the film, not to mention one comprehensible minute in its thankfully short running time.
If “Exorcist II : The Heretic” was tedious, then “The Beginning” was a clusterfuck. Dual directors, numerous script revisions, feuding producers… nothing was really working in this film’s favour from day one. Seems it just wasn’t meant to be made. And if only it hadn’t the ‘Exorcist’ brand wouldn’t have been so unfortunately tainted.
But let’s try and forget about that one – as hard as it may be – if only for Halloween.
Here are 5 other favourite horror films of mine I suggest are worth revisiting…
A Nightmare on Elm Street
While “A Nightmare on Elm Street III : Dream Warriors” is probably my favourite of the series – that’s solely for the creative storyline and over-the-top performances, not for scares. In terms of rattling you, you can’t go past Wes Craven’s original – it’s a freaky picture. Freddy isn’t so much a cartoon in this film – as he is in the sequels – as he is a very scary, hard-to-look-at demon. And I strongly doubt the remake will come even close to sending as many chills down the spine as this did…
Poltergeist
Though it’s only a PG, “Poltergeist” encompasses more genuine scares in it than most of today’s ‘R’ classified pics. It’s a spooky masterpiece that doesn’t so much rely on blood and gore to spook as it does good old fashioned noise machines and suspense. I’m absolutely appalled that they’re remaking this….
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I’ll never forget the first time I saw this. It was on video – a friend imported it from the UK, maybe because it had extra scenes or something – and I’d locked myself in my bedroom for a couple of hours, away from the world, to see what all the fuss was about. Shit! This thing near sent me flying under the bed! It’s so fuckin’ realistic… when that saw chisels its way through the flesh, you god damn near feel it! You can’t say that about the Michael Bay-produced remake can you?
Evil Dead II : Dead by Dawn
Like “Texas Chainsaw”, I saw this on video (though remember wanting to see it at theatres). I’m unsure whether I should even be including it here, because it was more funny than freaky… but it’s just such a good time that it could be the perfect way to cap-off your Halloween! A good wind-me-down movie!
Halloween
As much as I liked Rob Zombie’s remake – yeah, go on, ridicule me! – I still say Carpenter’s original is the best. It’s frightening, that’s all. And tell me it doesn’t still play as well as it did back in the late 70s?
And speaking of creatures of the night….
Hello to the studio publicist who likes to get about telling big fat filthy lies about us to their boss bunker!
But let’s start at the start…
We had yet another email from one of your colleagues today asking why we haven’t been able to feature a review of [film named removed] and whether or not we’d be talking to the star of [film name removed]?
The short answer is: Ask *****, and No.
And the reason? Well, there isn’t one – except that one of your publicists absolutely hates us… and always has.
For what reason? None really, but she’s good at making them up!
The most recent one is ‘we’re rude in interviews’. Excuse me? Since when? And since when have I even done an interview for you? I remember doing one or two back in the old days, but was far from rude – in fact, I recall getting a nice email from the interviewee afterwards thanking me for a great interview! I can’t believe you would even say such things. Where do you get off making that stuff up?
I guess you had to make something up – after all, the real excuse for not working with Moviehole (“um, I just don’t like them – they have, um, like an opinion about films and stuff”) just wouldn’t cut it.
And don’t dare give us the ‘we don’t turn up for screenings’ because we do!
The last one I went to was in January – – and it was the last one I was invited to! What happens is, we get invited, and we usually attend, and then WHAM! We’re off the list again. Did we not plant a sloppy one on your ass, like the rest of the media might’ve, as they entered the theatre? Is that why we’re suddenly removed from the list? Or is it that we don’t award 5 stars to everything that you’ve screened for us? I’m absolutely dumbfounded (one of my writers attended a screening for us a while back. He was in a car accident on the way – as a consequence, he was about 5 mins late for the movie. Yes, he still came to the movie – knowing how much trouble I’d be in if we didn’t show after RSVPing. She walked up to him, asked where he was from, and all she did was roll her eyes giving a ‘Typical’ look back).
We have been nothing but kind and polite to you over the years – in fact, the only time you drop us a line is when you want something removed from the website and we’re always happy to oblige (are we suckers or what?!) -and you’ve been rude and arrogant since day one (I still remember the first phone call I had from you : you wanted to kindly inform me that the interviews we were using of so-and-so’s were, in a matter of words, rubbish. Did it make you feel better? even bigger?
What about when you essentially hung up on one of our writers because they kindly asked you to email over some production notes? Head swell then, too?
And how about when you were ‘too busy’ to send over images to our friends at The Herald Sun? )
All I can say is, you’re missing out – – – your colleagues love us, and they’re saddened that they’re not getting coverage out of us, but you’ve nobody to blame but yourself…
and your prehistoric stance on those ‘evil internet website things’.
If you want to play it like that… we’ll play it like that…. I’d rather have good relations with the studios, but seems you’ve made it impossible for us.
And I apologise to all your studio colleagues – some of whom work in the same office – who drop me a line regularly to apologise for your behaviour towards us and to express how disappointed they are that they can’t wrangle any coverage out of us for a film of theirs.
I’m just appalled at the lies you’ve made up about us… and how you’ve treated us over the years. It’s truly shameful. Most of all, I feel bad for your company – if they only knew…
Happy Halloween!
