Caffeinated Clint
Possibly the last ‘Gossip Monkey’
Spring is here! Well, it seems to be in the UK at least. So last week, my Monkey friends, it was snowing, this week was beautiful! Lambs don’t have to have their supplemented diet crap and flowers are in bloom. It’s nice and crisp out there. If Global Warming is like this, then hey, I’m all for it!
So, apparently I only received around 40 hits on my page last week. What the hell is that all about? The Overweight Hype on two sticks shows off a coupla pictures of ‘Knocked Up’ and the world’s on fire!! I like Katherine Heigl as much as the next man or woman, but getting jizzy wid it I just can’t get when it comes to the release of a poster or a one sheet. Princess, you beat Heigl hands down by the way.
OK, with the poor amount of readers I had last week, it sure had an affect on me, let alone the site. This means that if this week decreases too, then G Monkey will Fade Out. Saying that, however, it’s probably come at a good time. I’m working on a project which demands my constant attention. Actually, it demands the Star’s constant attention and if anyone on board falters in any such manner, or gets roped into any un-necessary partying, we all fall down like Kings and Queens. But alas, I will check in from time to time with a few scoops…
Talking of Queens,
Apparently Johnny Depp is up for the role of Freddie Mercury in a bio of the frontman from the band Queen. De Niro and his Tribeca company are said to be producing this movie, as he does on the musical We Will Rock You – which I also hear through the vines will gain a big screen treatment. I can see Depp as Freddie, but I can also see him as Michael Hutchence too. I’d much prefer him in a more punchier role with De Niro himself.
Ya gotta love Tommy Lee Jones. He just loves those ‘Fugitive’-esque movies. ‘US Marshalls’, ‘Double Jeopardy’, that one with Del Toro and now ‘The Electric Mist With Confederate Dead’. He’ll play Alec Baldwin in the guise of Dave Robicheaux. Sorry, Baldwin played the same detective character in author James Lee Burke’s ‘Heaven’s Prisoners’ back in the day. Jones has been eager to get this to the screen for years. The mighty fine Jones will be partnered with a hot female Fed detecting crimes in the South.
This one time, at Bond Camp. Sienna Miller’s doing her publicity rounds again to score any non-Jude related press she can possibly get. Word that Stardust is a poor show, which features Miller and with Factory Girl being just a so so performance, Miller needs a quick boost. How? Talk about Bond! You’re not vying to be a Bond Girl are you or were you? You’d steal Bond’s ciggies! You need to do something dark. Something noticable. Even a small role in a Michael Bay flick. Even the Birds remake! Ring 4 anyone? No Bond girl role for you.
‘Live Free Or Die Hard’ have spewed some more pics into the world wide web. They depict a fighter jet. I’ve been informed this could be a replacement for the New Orleans set piece which featured in the original script. People are saying it’s a llittle True Lies-like. I say it won’t be anything like it. Never say never to a fifth either. McClane is King B’s pension fund.
That ole Kevin Costner Indiana Jones’ brother rumor is sparking up again.
Shilpa Shetty, the Bollywood beauty who won the UK’s ‘Celebrity’ Big Brother is fast on the rise. The tabloids say she’s a Bond girl already, yet Execs are discussing her for many a project and the stunner hasn’t hidden her desire to work with Tom Cruise. C’mon! Me, Cruise, Shilpa, ‘M:I:4’. Whadya say? I say United Artists, y’all know where to find us.
Neil Marshall has recruited Bob Hoskins for his ‘Doomsday’ project. Rhona Mitra was a surprise choice in my books, but I trust Marshall and I like his style, both in directing and writing. ‘Dog Soldiers’ and ‘The Descent’ did very well and I’m expecting good things from his first foray into Sci-Fi, if going by the script.
I read the script to New Line’s ‘Rush Hour 3’. Or should I say Brett Ratner’s ‘Rush Hour 3’? Man, you have to laugh. Didn’t John Carpenter start all that nonsense off? Anyways, good writing as usual from the trusted screenwriting talent. I’m a Chan Fan. I remember one time in Cannes, upon the red carpet, I was walking alongside him and stepped on his gal pal’s dress by accident as we’re treading up the steps. The gigantic screen and a thousand and one cameras had me pictured stumbling with her. Thanks for the meal afterwards Jackie and for not beating the hell out of me. I should pick my feet up.
On the up: Patrick Marber, Shilpa Shetty, Alec Baldwin, Jean Claude Van Damme (yep), Kelly Brook (yep), David Beckam (taking the Method baby), Vinnie Jones, Mark Wahlberg!
Standing Still: Wesley Snipes.
On the decline: Gossip Monkey, Sienna Miller, Matthew Vaughn,
So, I asked Princess some questions tonight: No time to write them down, she had to be spontaneous and tell me.
Q: If you were stranded on a desert island and could only be accompanied by a member of the undead, what type of undead creature would it be? By undead, I mean, Zombie, Princess, OK?
A: Hmm, a Tofu Zombie. I’d then eat it.
Q: If your life depended on it, what insect would you have to eat with your cereal and what would you eat it with?
A: A Lady Bug. I’d eat it with uh, strawberries or Corn Checks.
Until soon. G-Diddy.
