So Bad It’s Good #19 : Mannequin (1987)

Guilty Pleasures that we enjoyed – even though we don’t quite know why.

Movie Title : Mannequin

Released 1987

Starring Andrew McCarthy, Kim Cattrall, Estelle Getty, James Spader, GW Bailey, Carole Davis, Steve Vinovich, Christopher Maher

Directed By Michael Gottlieb

What is it? : A film I’m ashamed to say, I watched about forty times as a kid. I loved every plasticy bit of this bit of fluff. I know, I know, that ain’t a cool thing to admit to – I’m thinking it had more to do with the bad music and sexy chick – but go watch the ill-fated sequel “Mannequin Two : On the Movie” and you won’t feel so bad for me.

A high-concept comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and (a pre-“Sex and the City”) Kim Cattrall, “Mannequin” was a teenage rom-com produced for the not-so-smart MTV audience.

McCarthy is the luckless department-store employee Jonathan and Cattrall the Egyptian princess reincarnated as a shop-window dummy, who comes to life when she encounters McCarthy, only to revert to mannequin status when anyone else is watching her.
This fiberglass femme fatale helps Jonathan turn his career around, inspiring him to be the best window dresser in town.

G.W Bailey (of “Police Academy” fame) is the store security guard (who with dog Rambo) who sniff’s out the window-dresser, feeling he’s up to something (“Tonight we nail that little fart-blossom”), the late Estelle Getty is the store’s kindly manager, Meshach Taylor was the obviously* homosexual store employee ‘Hollywood’ (thank fuckin’ god he didn’t get his own spin-off; the character is enough to lead a man to drink!), James Spader (reuniting with his “Pretty in Pink” co-star McCarthy) is the competitor who longs for the legendary department store’s demolition, and a blatantly over-the-top Steve Vinovich plays B.J Wert, a sleazy bad-guy, keen to bang Roxie, Jonathan’s ex.

What’s wrong with it? A lot – for starters, it ain’t that funny; not a good thing when you’re supposed to be a comedy. OK, so that’s a lie, there are a couple of laughs – but they’re of the goofy slapstick variety that’ll only the biggest “Police Academy IV : Citizens on Patrol” fan will react to. Yep, stupid stuff.
The script is also pretty woeful – made today, it’d bypass theatres and debut on the Disney Channel.
Mostly though, the film is terribly tacky – from the ‘trying on clothing’ montage sequence to the ridiculously-unbelievable storyline, it’s all rather – excuse my non-PC term – retarded.

What’s right about it? Like a lot of films released in the late 80s – the same year “Mannequin” was released we had “Three Men and a Baby”, “Can’t Buy Me Love”, “Adventures in Babysitting” and “Teen Wolf Too”; nothing exactly high-brow about any of those – “Mannequin” was fun because it didn’t strive be anything more. It wasn’t after an Oscar, it just wanted to give young audiences an entertaining time via a ridiculous storyline, a couple of cute performers, and some infectious pop tunes (Starship’s memorable “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” was the theme).

“Mannequin” was made for a certain demographic, and by-and-large, didn’t fail them. Ask anyone that walked out of the theatre that day after seeing the film and you won’t find one unsatisfied customer (well, perhaps the film reviewer that’s been forced to review it for the local stone tablet).

And though there’s nothing in the film screaming ‘Award-worthy performance!’ James Spader, playing the sleazy manager of a competing store, is friggin’ terrific. Whatever role he was handed in the 80s – even now, to an extent – Spader went with it, and did wonders with whatever underwritten part his agent had dobbed him in for.

Why is it so bad it’s good? : Because, well, it’s an Andrew McCarthy movie – should almost be a category of its own, don’t ya think? – but more so, because it’s tackiness and stupidness actually seems to work in its favour. And shit, I gotta admit, the poppy tunes keeps you in high spirits.

May I suggest a good Saturday Night triple? “Teen Wolf”, “Mannequin” and “Encino Man”? Your brain will be mush by Sunday morning, but you’ll feel like you just had the best bit of doggie of your life.

* This isn’t gay? “You know I would never interrupt you when you’re getting a piece of wood…” – Hollywood

– CLINT MORRIS