Caffeinated Clint
Good evening Ladies & Gentlemen, and welcome back to “The Weeksly Late Edition”, home of “The Whopper”. It’s been a massive week for the gang here at Moviehole, with Clint off drinking with the King of Cool, Johnny Knoxville; getting inside gossip from Joss Whedon, and me getting pissed on with Rain here in glorious Adelaide. 6 weeks and counting until I head for New York…. Where I will be pissed on with rain. Until then, I will sit in my comfortable living room, knowing full well that:
My Television Is Trying To Kill Me
Have you been good little boys & girls? If you have, a few short hours ago, you would have caught the season premiere of "Survivor: Guatemala" and witnessed the very thing that a lot of you have been calling bullshit on to me…… the return of Stephenie & Bobby Jon from “Survivor: Palau”. Now, normally I don’t like to say I told you so, but…well…. Told ya! Alright, at any rate, the first episode saw the eviction of 63 year old Jim Lynch, who seriously fucked himself up in the Immunity Challenge, and scored a 7-1 vote to see him be the first “Survivor” well, lynched. Apparently Jim was still a bit dazed and confused during the Tribal Council, as 7 cards were shown to quite plainly say “Jim”, and Jim’s vote was revealed to be for host Jeff Probst. Untrue of course, but still mildly entertaining as a thought.
The tasty ladies and amiable fellas on NBC’s "Las Vegas" may look a little bit happier with their environment when season 3 premieres on September 19th. “Las Vegas” has had a brand new set built for it in Culver City, spread over 6 sound stages, or to you and me, around 40,000 square feet and 3 stories high. According to most reports, the new digs amounts to one of the most expensive sets ever built for a TV production, but the creators have found a nice way of easing the costs a little bit, by installing shop fronts inside the casino. Aston Martin, the car dealer made famous by the James Bond franchise, has given the nod to have a retail facade included in the new look “Montecito”, and to sweeten the deal a little further, have kindly handed over a US$250,000 DB AR1 Convertible for the use of James Caan’s character, Ed Deline, in the show.
I’m sure I don’t need to remind any of you, but September 21st sees the return of "Lost" for another season. Not only does the show return, but a familiar face also appears during the episode…. Someone that shouldn’t be there. As for what’s in the Hatch that everyone has been waiting for? Pauly Shore – you knew he’d been hiding out somewhere.
Finally, you all wanted it back, so make sure that you tune in for the season 3 premiere of "Arrested Development" & the premiere of "Kitchen Confidential" Monday night on Fox.
Q&A
Last week, I asked you to let me know what you thought was the worst remake ever made, and why it blew so badly. Here’s the few that floated out of the S-Bend:
I think 1976 "King Kong" is up there. The hype of building and using a 40 foot mechanical ape severely backfired when Rick Baker (in a monkey suit) was used in 90% of the scenes, and the mechanical hand was used for 8% (which actually worked well on Jessica Lange). The 40 foot ape was SO mechanical-looking and fake that it was used for about 10 seconds in the scene where Kong escapes from the New York "Petrox" show. Whereas the 1933 feature was brilliant for its time, the 1976 film flopped and forced Dino De Laurentis to re-think his role in the movie industry. I hope that Peter Jackson learns from the mistake of 1976, and provides a re-make worthy of 1933.
Eldo.
I gotta say yes to that one. The ’76 remake was definitely a pile of shit, even though it’s probably the first and only time I’ve wanted to get down with Jessica Lange. However, if you’re like me and would rather have someone kick a pencil into your forehead than sit through another Peter Jackson “epic”, I’ll just watch the Orangutan down at the Zoo fling crap at tourists for a couple of hours.
You want to know which remake sucked ass? “Dawn Of the Dead” man, fuck that guy. Romero rules!
Dave B.
Romero rules, eh? Tell me, did you think that before or after he released his enema pack and “Land Of The Dead” came spilling out? I’m gonna go ahead and say no to this one, I liked Snyder’s “Dawn Of The Dead”. Biggest problem with it was the fact that they called it “Dawn Of The Dead”, because if they’d called it anything else, most of you would have proclaimed it the coolest piece of hardcore blood & guts that you’d seen in a long time.
I don’t know why they remade “Fever Pitch”. Why do over a top film, isn’t it only 10 years old anyway?
Ben.
This one I’m gonna sit on the fence with. For those of you in the UK & Oz, “Fever Pitch” has been renamed to “The Perfect Catch”, but it all comes from Nick Hornby’s novel, and has already been (well) made back in 1997 with Colin Firth. As Clint can attest to, I was super pissed when I heard that the Farrelly boys were remaking it in America, and changing the sport from Football (Soccer) to Baseball with Jimmy Fallon starring in the lead role. I’ll be honest though, after seeing it, it’s still very faithful to the original book, and in my opinion, it’s the Farrelly’s best movie yet.
Spoiled for choice here, but my vote goes to the scene-for-scene reshoot of ‘Psycho.’
Thanks for a great site.
Joyce.
Gotta agree with this one. I don’t remember Anthony Perkins jerking off to former lesbians in the original, and as far as ideas go, this one (despite Vince Vaughn doing a great job) just plain sucked.
The Rehash
Keith walks away….
Keith Richards, the walking pharmacy, has apparently turned down the offer to appear in “Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”. Even more surprising is the fact that it’s the first thing Keith’s said no to in 50 years.
Not just a “Legend” anymore?
It’s been a long time coming, and has had everyone from Will Smith through to Arnold Schwarzenegger attached to it at one point or another, but the news that a lot of you have been waiting for may be a little bit closer to reality this week, when “Variety” let it out of the bag that Francis Lawrence (“Constantine”) has been signed on to direct “I Am Legend” for Warner Bros., with filming due to begin early 2006.
Ritchie’s “Revolver” misfires
I’m praying for this one not to be true, but in the last week, major critics have savaged the living shit out of Guy Ritchie’s latest, “Revolver”. I’m dying to see a few more positive reviews of this one, so if you managed to catch it in Toronto, drop me a line at adam@moviehole.net so I can have some good news.
The Most Salacious Piece Of Tabloid Gossip This Week
Time for the juiciest piece of filth I can possibly find over the past week, and this one is a firecracker that’s about to go off thanks to the guys at IMDB:
Moss Snaps After Cocaine Claims
Kate Moss responded with anger when confronted about photographs appearing to show her snorting cocaine. A British newspaper yesterday published snaps of the supermodel purportedly taking the hard drug in a recording studio with her singer boyfriend Pete Doherty’s band Babyshambles. But when the Daily Mirror approached the couple in New York, she told reporters to "f**k off". She said, "I don’t want to know. F**k off, f**k off, f**k off! Just f**k off." According to the Daily Mirror, the pictures show Moss chopping the white powder into lines with a credit card and snorting it through a rolled up £5 note. Meanwhile, the model’s father Peter insists he’s "not surprised" if the allegations are true. When approached by the newspaper yesterday, he said, "It doesn’t surprise me. I don’t know if it’s true. It’s only what you print."
F**k me. Sounds like a right f**king rip snorter of a f**king lady, eh?
The Official Weeks Seal Of Approval DVD Release Of The Week
If you smell what The Rock is cookin’ during his stint in "Be Cool", you’re likely to witness one of his best performances yet, alongside the likes of John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn & Harvey Keitel. “Be Cool” is the follow up to “Get Shorty”, and follows Chili Palmer (John Travolta), as he attempts to crack the music industry. The storylines are a little to complex to spell out in such little space, so I’ll make it easy and say that if you enjoyed “Shorty”, you will love “Cool”. Best moment is the one that the millions (and Millions!) of The Rock’s fans have been waiting for, his re-enactment of a crucial moment from “Bring It On”.
Extra features on “Be Cool” include a handful of featurettes, some good Deleted Scenes, a gag reel, and most importantly the music video of The Rock singing “You Ain’t Woman Enough To Take My Man”. Classic!
The Funniest Friggin’ Thing I’ve Seen This Week
I’ve long been a fan of the boys over at Rum & Monkey, especially their brilliant little quizzes that they put up from time to time. I have to admit though, I never noticed this one, which you all should try out to answer the immortal question: Which Annoying B-list Celebrity Are You?.
I, apparently, am Drew Carey (like Ebola, only less funny).
That’s it for another week, but to wrap it up, many thanks to the guys that have taken the time to talk with us in the past week, Johnny Knoxville, Johnny Depp & Joss Whedon, plus, special congratulations go out to longtime Moviehole friend Matt Damon, who announced his engagement this week to Luciana Barroso – we wish them both the very best for a long and happy life together.
Don’t forget to enter our "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" competition to win a double pass to Rob Schneider’s latest comedy.
I’ll see y’all tomorrow night with my review of “Mad Hot Ballroom”, and I’ll be back here next Friday night for some more juicy gossip and filthy behavior by famous celebrities.
Cheers,
Adam Weeks.
