Caffeinated Clint
with Clint Morris
The highest form of technology I’ve had all week in my new house is a hole-puncher and a haemorrhaging ghostface mask (hey kids, it squirts real blood!), hence my lack of attendance this week. Thanks to the always-reliable Adam ‘Hot Lips’ (a self-tagged nick name, mind you) Weeks for taking the wheel whilst I went down stairs to take care of business. Or something….
Without further a due, it’s the hugely popular (thanks to both of you that wrote in and said you love it!) 15 Things We Learnt This Week.
15 Things We Learnt This Week….
1 : That moving house is more painful than having your boys caught between the sliding doors of a high-rise lift. You see red in both instances. Big Howdy to the Movers that turned up on the wrong day too. There name may be Smart, there performance – not so. (Good luck to Sony’s Katie on the weekend too, with her move – might I suggest, deep heat post-shift?)
2 : That unlike Michael Jackson, the other loon, Tom Cruise, can still pack ‘em in and turn ‘em on. “War of the Worlds” looks set to be the biggest flick of the year (Sadly, I can’t comment because I was drowning in work and a swarm of moving boxes and unable to make the screening – Katie’s bringing me around the reel later though to watch in my newly refurbished warren).
3 : That media screenings for a certain superhero film have been delayed – it won’t screen until a few days before opening now – because the “special effects aren’t finished”. I say no more – I’m sure you can bust a gut all on your own.
4 : That Ben and Jen are married. Give it a week and Froggy Nelson will be moving in on Daredevil’s Mrs – I guarantee it. Seriously guys, congratulations – best career move yet Benno.
5 : That Melissa Joan Hart is pregnant. Unfortunately for her, she’s just found out she has actually to deliver the baby – it’s not a case of simply reading out a spell and having tots appear beneath her goods. She’ll finally experience the kind of pain we endured watching the show’s last season, hey?
6 : That Channel 7 has finally scheduled the latest season of “24” for Australia. You’ll be still days – geddit? – in front of us Americans! What’s the bet it’s moved to a dodgy near-midnight slot within the first month?
7 : That Ioan Gruffud’s genitals have had to be sized-down for “The Fantastic Four” because the studio thought his big boys might scare young viewers. Apparently they’ve been excised from the print and locked in a room with Lindsay Lohan’s oversized “Herbie” load. Fun for all the family.
8 : That C.Thomas Howell is the latest name being branded about for the part of the Joker in the “Batman Begins” sequel. He isn’t really; I was just having withdrawal symptoms from the lack of a Joker contender rumour today.
9 : That Jessica Biel may be returning to Australia for a promo tour. Aaahh…hang on, gotta change the strides.
10 : That “Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants” is actually quite a good movie. But seriously, what’s with that title? It sounds about as appealing as that ‘Weeping Camel’ thing!
11 : That “Superman Returns” is going to be shooting in Victoria over the next few days. They’ll be doing some stuff at the 3 Apostles, on the Great Ocean Road. They’ll then film a scene where Superman takes on the exasperating photo-happy tourists at Philip Island’s Penguin Parade. Sure to be a crowd-pleaser.
12 : That Barry Manilow’s going to making a film version of “Copacabana”. Here’s to hell hoping that “Living in a Box” doesn’t decide their smash hit (of the same name) is worthy for the screen. (Hang on; didn’t Sherilyn Fenn already star in something like that?)
13 : That for the life of me, I can’t find disc 3 of “Enterprise : Season 2”. T’Pol’s smuggling it between her bosom ain’t she? Let me at it! (Seriously folks, the hunt has been more far-reaching than the Chamberlain kid)
14 : That Muffin Break makes the finest café latte in Melbourne. I’ll never stoop so low as to do the cash for comment thing…coffee though…that’s another matter.
15 : That it’s so cold in Melbourne right now, that even the penguins have gone off to Corby-ville, ah, Bali.
