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Half-A-Man : Charlie Sheen’s 10 Best F*ck-Ups!

It’s sure been one hell of a week for Charlie Sheen – but by no fault of his own.

Sad really. Still, it doesn’t much matter whether it is drugs talking (he swears he’s clean, but seriously!? Have you read those interviews!?) – hell, it may simply be a clean n’ sober Sheen getting his feelings, beliefs and beefs out (in the umpteen media interviews the actor’s done in the past week) – one thing’s for sure, Sheen needs to shut up. Quick.

If the one-time ‘Regulator’ had a publicist (she quit yesterday; couldn’t take it anymore), which as of now, he doesn’t, they’d be telling him the same thing, “No more interviews, just shut the fuck up Estevez”.

If the star of such greats as “Platoon”, “Wall Street” and “Navy Seals” (you heard me) wants to save his career – and I do believe it can be saved; the man is a talented actor (albeit one that’s been slumming it for years now) – he needs to swiftly get himself together. Whether that means Sheen’s gotta get clean, or simply get himself a good sleep, maybe even seek the assistance of a good entertainment lawyer and/or publicist, the man needs to take time out. We need for Charlie to lock himself in the closet with E.T and the stuff dolls for awhile and then reemerge once the flower – that being his repaired reputation – starts blooming. Hollywood loves nothing more than to see screw-up actors clean up their act and reemerge bigger and better than movie – see : Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke – but problem here is, Charlie doesn’t recognize that there’s any ‘cleaning up’ to do.  Hopefully he’ll listen back to a couple of those TMZ interviews and reach the conclusion on his own.

I’ve always followed Sheen’s career. He’s someone most of us in our thirties grew up with. He was the ‘hot new thing’ in the mid ’80s – remember “Lucas”? “Three for the Road”? (Friend of mine wrote that), “Ferris Bueller”? And of course nobody forgets his career-making performance in “Platoon”. Just marvelous.

Even then, as Sheen’s career started to explode (and he ended up in hits like “Wall Street”, “Platoon” and “Major League”), the rags got wind of his incessant bad boy behaviour. If you’ve got a pile of magazines from the ’80s and ’90’s, or even some old tapes of ‘Hard Copy’ laying about, I betcha you’ll find some ‘wild story’ of Charlie Sheen.

Here’s 10 of Charlie Sheen’s ‘Worst’ Moments :

1. Trashing the Plaza Hotel (2010)

Sheen was found naked and passed out in his suite at the Plaza hotel. He had trashed the shit out of the place – even the chandelier was in a million bits & pieces.

2. Coke and Hookers only leads to Hernia Operation (2011)

Sheen was rushed to hospital with a Hernia just 36 hours after partying the night away with his hooker pals and old mate, Cocaine.

3. Sheen shot Kelly Preston (1995)


Before she was making babies with Danny Zuko, Kelly Preston was bumping uglies with Charlie Sheen.  Sheen’s sexy fiancee (and the star of “Twins” and “Secret Admirer”) ultimately decided enough was enough, but not before he accidentally shot her in the arm. Nuttso or merely rehearsing for his role as ‘Dick’ in “Young Guns”?

4. Christmas in Jail (2009)

After drunkenly pulling a knife on fiancee Brooke Mueller, Sheen was escorted to the slammer – where he played stuffing to a turkey of an inmate.

5. Threatened to kill Densie Richards (2006)

Wife Denise Richards decided reality TV would be far less punishing than staying married to Charlie Sheen. In court papers filed in 2006, Richards said that, among other rather frightening ordeals, her ex-husband had abused prescription drugs after the 2004 birth of their first daughter, Sam, and told Richards “I ‘better not tell anybody about his using these drugs and better keep it to myself.’ I understood by these statements that (he) would physically harm me and our baby.”

6. For Crimes Against Cinema – “Scary Movie 3” (2003)

7. Rehab of the Mind (2011)
Sheen, claiming he does not have a drug and alcohol problem, says he’s been clean for quite a while – he cured his sickness with “his mind”. Yes, you read right.

8. Outs Heidi Fleiss (1995)
While Hollywood madam Heidi never named any of her clients, Sheen was only too happy to tell folks that he was one of her long-time clients.

9. Dad forced to call cops on him (1998)
After a cocaine overdose, Sheen’s father Martin was forced to call the cops and dob in his 33-year-old boy for violating his probation.

10. Toothless Tiger (2011)
Sheen isn’t the ‘pretty boy’ so many, er, high-class hookers think he is; the “Wall Street” star has actually lost a lot of his teeth – rotted thanks to his excessive long-running use of Cocaine. While in bed with hookers, Sheen would reportedly have to stop mid-way through bang-session to jam back in his ‘porcelain’ teeth.

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Bobby Farrelly