Caffeinated Clint
By Anthony J ‘Captain Cumquat’ Lucas
”My Bloody Valentine”, the 3-D follow up to the 1981 horror classic (maybe that’s too strong a word?), has audiences not only jumping out of their seats, but dodging pick axes and ducking exploding debris!
But where “Valentine” really succeeds is in it’s divine mesh of special-effect and story. Veteran editor (he cut his teeth working with horror master Wes Craven) cum director Patrick Lussier (“White Noise : The Light”, “Dracula 2000”) has composed some amazing sequences that utilize the dimensional space of the medium without compromising the story.
The story picks up 10 years after the Valentine’s Massacre in the small Pennsylvania mining town. Our hero, Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles, TVs “Supernatural”) comes back to a community that holds him somewhat indirectly responsible for the tragedy for which the town is now famous. When he arrives, the killings suspiciously begin again and once again the suspicion is thrown Tom’s way. The only one who believes in his innocence is Sarah Palmer (Jaime King, “Sin City”), an old flame that ended up marrying Tom’s best friend, Axel Palmer (Kerr Smith, TVs “Dawson’s Creek”) in his absence.
The intrigue is more befitting of a mystery than your run of the mill slasher film – Lussier clearly wants to give audiences much more than the typical teen horror romp (evident by the 3D element – which, by the way, has come a long way since the days of “Jaws 3” and “Friday the 13th 3D”, it actually works a treat now, and the glasses don’t leave paper cuts!) and does. There’s much to love about this infectiously-fun horror romp – an ultimate villain, some fun performances, lots of blood and scares! – the least of which is an entire sequence featuring Betsy Rue (Irene) completely naked until her untimely impalement! I’d give my left lobe to be the trucker in the scene! incidentally, the trucker that Irene was fornicating with is played by Todd Farmer, who also penned the screenplay. (Hey! If I wrote a movie, I’d write myself into an extended sex scene with a hot blond too – don’t even pretend you wouldn’t!)
“My Bloody Valentine” Take 2 will definitely be a top selling date flick for those love birds who are dying to celebrate Valentine’s day in blood red fashion. They can trade heart shaped neccos that declare “will you be mine (shaft)?” and “I Pick You (through the skull)”
Undoubtedly the most fun you’ll have at the cinema this year, “My Bloody Valentine” is a movie to die for! One of the best horror films in years!
Happy Bloody Valentine’s Day!
