The Cynical Optimist 21/04/08

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last column, and for that I apologize. Hopefully I will provide enough content to keep you satisfied until the summer movie explosion happens, where I’ll have tons of reviews and cynical comments to keep you happy.

Alright, here we go:

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
My take on the Apatow Gang’s latest…

After having his name attached to comedic gems like “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” “Knocked Up” and “Superbad,” it’s no surprise that Judd Apatow is what’s hot in Hollywood right now. In fact, can you name the last comedy that didn’t have the tagline, “From the guy who brought you ‘Knocked Up’ and ‘Superbad’” in front of it?

In the past three years, Apatow has been involved in 13 projects as producer, writer or director. The latest film from his Apatow Productions Company is “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” the ultimate in disastrous romantic comedy. Directed by Nicholas Stoller, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” stars Jason Segel (of “How I Met Your Mother” and “Knocked Up” fame), who also wrote the film.

Segel plays Peter Bretter, a struggling musician who has spent the past five years in a relationship with Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell), a superstar actress on one of those “Crime Scene” shows. His whole life revolves around Sarah, as Peter serves as composer for her show, delivering dark and ominous tones to the cheesy dialogue his lover delivers.

To the public, Peter might as well be the invisible man. He’s the guy left holding the purse in paparazzi photos – the guy in the background during interviews and press junkets who appears to be lost. He’s a phantom on the red carpet, an all-out nobody and he’s completely convinced that the only thing he’s got is Ms. Sarah Marshall.

Unfortunately for Peter, he’s about to lose the only thing he’s got. Sarah initiates a ‘we need to talk’ conversation, which leads to a painful breakup. After a few fits of crying, extreme depression and an unsuccessful bout of womanizing, Peter finally loses it and has an on-the-job nervous breakdown.

Not having Sarah might just ruin Peter’s shattered life. He decides to get away from it all, and so he takes a vacation to Hawaii to clear his head and put Sarah Marshall in the past. Everything’s going great until his worst nightmare is realized right before his eyes: Sarah is staying at the same resort with her new boyfriend, British rocker Aldous Snow (Russell Brand).

You’ve got to feel for the guy, right? It’s only been a couple of weeks and Sarah is already shacked up with some famous rock God, mean while Peter is locked in his room, crying his eyes out like a school girl who scraped her knees. It’s just not right.

While Peter torments himself with the idea of Sarah sharing her life with someone new, he finds comfort in meeting Rachel (Mila Kunis), a gorgeous resort employee who ignites within Peter a small sense of hope. Maybe life without Sarah Marshall is possible after all.

What sets “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” apart from other romantic comedies is how likeable all of the characters are. Like real life, there are two sides to every story, and we realize early on that Peter and Sarah both have their faults, and we the audience are never left with a clear-cut impression of who is at fault for the deterioration of their relationship. Segel’s performance as the everyman is perfect here, and Russell Brand’s rock ‘n’ roll lothario is full of laughs and brutal, sometimes disgusting honesty. He is a pure straight womanizer and makes no qualms about it. Of course I can’t forget to mention Mila Kunis, who is sure to make more appearances in future Apatow films. Her beauty and laid-back attitude give her the perfect balance to Marshall’s strict, structured personality.

As with all of Apatow’s films, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” is filled with brilliant co-stars like Jonah Hill (“Superbad”), Bill Hader (“Superbad”), Paul Rudd (“Knocked Up”) and Jack McBrayer (“30 Rock”). All in all, this film is believable, honest and not the cookie-cutter fluff we’re used to getting from the romantic comedy genre. It’s also funny – really funny.

My only complaint is the pacing. The film seems to drag through its low points, namely the first act. After we are introduced to the characters and the situation at hand, the film doesn’t really seem to get moving until Peter lands in Hawaii. It probably could have been 10 or 15 minutes shorter and tightened up some of its pacing issues.

“Forgetting Sarah Marshall” is definitely a must-see work of comedy. While not as uproarious as “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” this film is definitely one of the finer Rated-R comedies in the past years.

4 Stars (out of 5)

The Monster That Challenged the World (1957)
Prehistoric sea snails… need I say more?

MonsterThatChallengedLarge.jpgIt was 1957 and “creature features” ruled the Earth. By conveniently packaging nuclear paranoia and selling it to mass audiences, the movie business was able to produce low budget B movies one right after another. These films always showcased some new abomination of science, the result of an experiment gone horribly wrong.

Though monsters have been around since the silent film area, the ‘50s saw the highest amount of creature features, with films like “Godzilla,” “The Creature from the Black Lagoon,” “Tarantula,” and a little flick called “The Monster That Challenged the World.”

“The Monster That Challenged the World,” which is one of the most bizarre titles I’ve ever seen, takes place on the Salton Sea in Southern California. Unbeknownst to the fine citizens of the good ‘ol U S of A, a prehistoric mollusk is lying at the bottom of the Salton Sea, awaiting the catalyst of an earthquake to free it from its underwater prison.

This of course happens and the monster begins laying eggs. Here’s the thing, the Navy has a base at the Salton Sea and uses it in their training routines. One day while out on one of these seemingly normal routines, a couple seamen come face to face with the monster (you know, the one that would soon challenge THE WORLD?).

Never has a mollusk been so scary. I mean honestly, it’s basically a big sea snail. It leaves goop everywhere that looks like marshmallow fluff and lets face it, it’s slow as hell and easily escapable. Yet, every time this bad boy shows up, men are left helpless to its giant pinchers and piercing eyes.

After the Navy’s first encounter with the creature, Navy Lieutenant Commander John Tilinger (Tim Holt), teams up with Dr. Jess Rogers (Hans Conried) to end this threat. After a brief explanation by our good scientist Dr. Rogers, we understand what this prehistoric mollusk is capable of. There’s lots of cool footage of slugs and snails digesting their prey that is way more terrifying than the poorly made animatronic monster.

When the creature runs out of food in the sea, it and its hatchlings will crawl out of the depths and onto dry land, thus CHALLENGING THE WORLD! Essentially, after a few more encounters with the Navy, the beast escapes into an underground sewer system and finds its way into the canal system, where it terrorizes the citizens of California’s Imperial Valley.

Now there’s only one thing to do – a showdown between the monster and the world for which it is challenging. Twillinger and Dr. Rogers must battle the mollusk and end this threat once and for all!

This is a quirky, but oddly inspired creature feature that takes elements of “The Creature of the Black Lagoon” but also feels eerily familiar to Steven Spielberg’s 1975 monster movie, “Jaws.” While definitely not for everyone, the B Movie will always hold a place in my heart and while “The Monster That Challenged the World” isn’t that great when compared to the other creature features of its day, it’s still an entertaining reminder of the atomic age.

“The Satanic Rites of Dracula” (1974)
The forgotten horrors of Hammer Productions

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Hammer Productions, the iconic United Kingdom film company, is best known for its run of lavishly Gothic “Hammer Horror” pictures, which were produced from the ‘50s into the ‘70s.

As the iconic monsters of Universal Pictures began to fade away in the late ‘50s, Hammer Horror breathed new life into classic franchises such as “Frankenstein,” “Dracula,” and “The Mummy.” Hammer films were typically low budget but featured extravagant sets and made use of talented British actors such as Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.

While watching the Monsters HD channel, which is by far one of my favorite channels ever, I stumbled across a little gem from Hammer Productions called “The Satanic Rites of Dracula,” a 1974 flick which starred Christopher Lee as the Count himself, and Peter Cushing as Dr. Van Helsing.

The eighth film in Hammer’s series of Dracula films, “The Satanic Rites of Dracula” opens with secret service agent (Maurice O’Connell) who escapes from an English country house, in which satanic rituals are celebrated.

Before he dies, the agent reveals to his superiors that four prominent members of society are a part of the cult in question. These society types include government ministers, scientists and generals among others.

Scotland Yard is called in on the case and Inspector Murray (Michael Coles) is on the case. Murray appeared in the preceding Dracula film, titled “Dracula AD 1972.” Catchy title, isn’t it? Anyway, Murray decides it may be a good idea to consult the wise and venerable Professor Lorrimer Van Helsing, played exquisitely by the legendary Peter Cushing.

Meanwhile, back at the vampire cult compound, secret service secretary Jane (Valerie Van Ost) has been kidnapped and turned into a bloodsucker vamp. This leads agent Murray and Van Helsing’s granddaughter Jessica (the beautiful Joanna Lumley) go to the England country home to find their missing friend.

This is where the movie really takes off and comes to life in the way only a Hammer Horror can. Several female vampires, led by Jane, trap Jessica in a crypt below the house. They’re just about to sink their teeth into Jessica when Murray shows up to put a stake right through Jane’s heart.

The following is a rather absurd journey into a Dracula storyline that deviates quite a bit from what you’re used to. Turns out Dracula’s cult are working on a virulent strain of the Bubonic plague, which they plan to unleash on the world so Vampires can rule the Earth. Yeah, pretty crazy right?

Dracula plans to take Van Helsing’s granddaughter as his immortal bride, but obviously our favorite vampire hunter has a few things to say about that. Now Count Dracula and Dr. Van Helsing will face each other once more, the fate of the free world lies in their hands.

Okay, so maybe “The Satanic Rites of Dracula” isn’t the best horror film ever made but dammit, it’s got style. Christopher Lee plays the title character effortlessly, with tons of charm and a quiet menace behind his bloodshot eyes. Peter Cushing is just one of those actors who looks amazing on screen no matter the part he plays. Here, as Van Helsing, he lights up the screen once more with a quality performance.

Overall, this film was a nice little surprise to a lover of creature features and monster flicks. It’s a bit derivative, and as I stated pretty absurd in terms of story – but entertaining nonetheless. I’d recommend this film only to the true cult lover of the macabre. Those seeking to delve into the cobweb infested crypts of Hammer Horror would do best to start with their original works – “Dracula,” “The Mummy” and “The Curse of Frankenstein.”

Recommendations:

1) Season 4 of “Lost” returns on April 24th
2) Wii Mario Kart races onto shelves April 27th (if anyone wants to play online, PM me!)
3) Grand Theft Auto IV hits PS3 and Xbox 360 on April 29th (PM me for my 360 gamertag!)
4) visit (un)Heralded Films to check out our Volume One DVD
5) GO WATCH MONSTER MOVIES!