Caffeinated Clint
If the three live-action “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” films of the late 80s and early 90s were missing anything it’d be – to use an analog only our bandana-wearing friends would appreciate – well, anchovies.
The Voices of Mako, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Chris Evans, Patrick Stewart, Ziyi Zhang
If the three live-action “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” films of the late 80s and early 90s were missing anything it’d be – to use an analog only our bandana-wearing friends would appreciate – well, anchovies.
Anchovies aren’t usually appreciated by mass quantities because they’re different; have too much kick; and can turn a tongue vinegary… but many claim they improve the pie.
The new TMNT – a shorter title is cooler, ya see? Though the ex-members of “New Kids on the Block” or “NKOTB” (as they were renamed shortly before their demise) may disagree – has got a bunch of anchovies. It’s got plenty of ‘whammo’. It’s different. It leaves an aftertaste. There’s no option to exclude them from the film either – because, well, they are the film. It’s what’s ‘different’ and ‘spicy’ about this film that gives it new life.
The question remains… is this ‘different’ computer-generated take on the comic (and later, series) good though? The answer will differ, depending on your love or loathe or anchovies. If you don’t like any surprises – and think the film series was fine just as it was (a cheesy live-action franchise) – then you may feel alienated.
Not to say the new TMNT doesn’t cater for those that do prefer a plain ol’ Hawaiian – it does. In fact, this film is still very loyal to the three films that came before it … and, of course, the TV series that preceded it. But with spring chicken animation animal Kevin Munroe (he was apparently about 12 when the show aired on TV… so he’s obviously a fan, and at times, it really does show) directing the film, he’s snuck in a couple of extra toppings.
I guess the best way to put it, in critics terms, is that the new “Ninja Turtles” movie – I could never get used to referring to it as “TMNT” so I’m not going to try now – is reminiscent of “Ghostbusters II” (1989).
I know, two totally different films – though ‘similar’ markets – from two totally different times – but stay with me.
Here’s why “TMNT” is this year’s “Ghostbusters II”.
1. Like “Ghostbusters II”, “TMNT” – I managed to say it there – is a film that doesn’t really cater for the newcomer; it simply assumes you know who everyone is and how they came to be in their singular situations. And like the sci-fi comedy flick of the late 80s, the storyline’s pretty similar – it centers on a has-been unit – who’ve seemingly gone their separate ways, with some now working some pretty lame jobs (in fact, the turtle with the ‘birthday party’ gig is a direct rip-off from GII) – having to regroup to destroy a new blend of monster (in this case, the cast of “Monster’s Inc”).
2. A couple of old friends are along for the ride – in this case, ex-feisty reporter April O’Neill and hockey-masked rebel Casey Jones (Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis had the parts in the “Ghostbusters” sequel). Fans, of course, will be happy to see them.
3. The villains are pretty lame and forgettable (unlike the first “Ninja Turtles” movie – which had the best-known villain in its universe, Shredder; and “Ghostbusters” which had well, demon dogs, the marshmallow fella and some other cool evildoers).
4. The jokes fall flat… every time.
5. It struggles to keep you totally engrossed – and seems to lack some kick at times.
6. The fantastic special effects you’re expecting… are here (in fact there’s a couple of sequences – one set in the rain, for example – that look brilliant) but there are just as many scenes that look shabby… and let the movie down.
7. There’s no cool songs – “Ghostbusters” had Ray Parker Jr’s smash hit; “Turtles” had Hi-Tek’s ‘Spin that Wheel’ (could’ve used the example of Vanilla Ice’s ‘Ninja Rap’ from “Turtles II” but…we’ll, it wouldn’t have been a good example since the song sucked worse than a toothy hooker) … there’s nothing here music-wise that stays with you. (Warner should have raided their catalogue).
So yeah, “TMNT” is an uneven offering – but you know what? Ten-year-olds won’t care. They don’t know the difference between a good script and a great script and they can’t tell when the animators slacked off. They also won’t give two hoots whether the jokes are lame (to them, the gags might be funny); whether the script needed work; whether the effects could’ve been better in spots and whether or not they felt like they’ve seen the movie before Bottom line: it’s the “Turtles”. It’s cool. There’s lots of action. It moves fast. And for the most part, it’s quite engaging. In short, the long-time fans are in for a treat… and the rest of the littlies will soon be fans.
It’s hard to knock a movie like this… because it delivers to its target market everything it promised. It’s definitely not a “hard shell”… sorry, “hard sell”.
The DVD features – well, nothing very exciting; albeit lots of stuff – include numerous featurettes, commentary by writer/director Kevin Munroe (reasonably informative; he’s an obvious fan), interviews with the voice cast and some deleted and alternate scenes – including the original opening and ending.
Rating : 
Reviewer : Clint Morris
