Caffeinated Clint
I’ve had an injured foot for a few weeks (fuckin hurts, I tell ya). Thing is, I don’t know what hurt more – the foot or having to sit through the last couple of Will Ferrell comedies. Now that was pain. And unlike the foot, there was an ointment or ankle brace that’d help “Blades of Glory†or “Semi-Pro†play better – you just had to wait till the pain went away.
I’m a little bias though – being a child of the 80s, I’ve become accustomed to watching great comedies starring the likes of John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Martin and Chevy Chase. And quite frankly, nobody today even comes close to one of those guys. Fuck, I’ll even go so far as to say I enjoyed the works of Judge Reinhold and Rick Moranis more than some of the $20-million-a-movie schmucks working the genre today (Mike Myers, in particular).
“Ghostbustersâ€, to name but one comedy classic of the 80s, was probably the choice cut of the bunch. It was a magical combination of script, star (or in this case, a handful of big stars) and special-effects. You can’t get sick of that film.
I was talking to someone-in-the-know via telephonic device today, about some of the great comedic directors of our time, and he mentioned that a screenwriter pal of his – who I know on an acquaintance level – is currently working with Ivan Reitman, the director of “Ghostbustersâ€, on a film. As you could imagine, my ears pricked up like a Vulcan at a strip club.
Man, he had some great gossip. I twisted his arm to let us run with some of the gossip his friend’s heard whilst roasting cashews with the “Ghostbusters” director (OK, so he wasn’t doing that- but it sounds much cooler than ‘I was there for a meeting. Nothing excited happened’ doesn’t it?) – even if it’s of the ‘Oh man, that’s too bad’ variety. And you know how fuckin’ hard it is to physically twist an arm through a phone? Shit, I don’t think Freddy Krueger even tried that one – – -the best he could do was stick his tongue through the receiver. Weak as piss, Fred.
Anyway, those Mid Comic-Con rumours of a new “Ghosbusters” film starring, well, everyone that’s featured in a Judd Apatow film in the past couple of years, have since been quashed – but what about another “Ghostbusters” movie, starring the original cast? Surely there’s a small smidgen of a chance that might be come to be one day, right? I found out.
Nope. Not going to happen.
And the reason might surprise some : The cast aren’t friendly any more. Harold Ramis has had a falling out with Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray, and the only reason the video-game got done is because none of the guys had to be in the same room at the same time. Don’t that suck harder than a toothless whore?
Now I don’t know what’s gone on there, and wouldn’t even want to speculate, but that’s the word from the speaky end of my phone. Too bad, huh?. I assumed these guys would meet up ever Tuesday for Jack Daniels Steak at Aykroyd’s House of Blues. Doesn’t sound like it.
So in retrospect, the only way we’ll ever see a new “Ghostbusters†film is if it’s a complete CGI abomination (hello “Clone Warsâ€!) – in which case all the actors can record their lines in separate booths at separate times, or – cue the “Psycho†theme – it’ll be a remake…which Paul Rudd and myself definitely don’t want to see. Do you?
(On a brighter note, fans of “Old School” will be glad to hear that the long-awaited sequel is inching forward. It’s going to be quite an expensive exercise – most of the budget’s probably going on Will Ferrell’s fee – but it’s definitely happening.)
As Arnold Schwarzenegger is known to say, “Ivan Reitman is a Genius” – – and I agree. I think he’s done some terrific comedies (but then, Schwarzenegger said the same about Jonathan Mostow – – didn’t he?) and would be happier than Tom Cruise at a Placenta-eating competition to see him return to direct a third “Ghostbusters”. John Hughes may be the King of the Reagan-era comedy, but Reitman’s definitely a Prince.
Both those guys helped folks like Aykroyd, Murray, John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Danny DeVito and, er, Reinhold (well, he was the ‘bomb’ in “Beverly Hills Cop” – and if he isn’t in the new sequel, I’ll scream rape!) be what they could be through various vehicles – be it “Vacation” or “Animal House” or, um, “Head Office†– and quite frankly, I wish both of them were more active in the industry today.
As much as I enjoy Seth Rogen’s work, and as funny as Will Ferrell can be (on occasion – I’m a closet “Night at the Roxbury†fan), I miss the old guys – guys like Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy, Steve Martin and John Candy. Even Rick Moranis. Man, they were good. Half the movies they made were shit, but even then, something like “The Great Outdoors” or “Spies Like Us” still encompassed some good laughs – – half the fun was just watching these guys – be it Aykroyd, Chase or Candy – “do their thingâ€. You never walked out dissatisfied, even if it wasn’t up to scratch. Compared to today’s equivalent of “shit”, something like “Great Outdoors” or “Only the Lonely” was merely slightly reeking…. Every one out of three comedies today sucks balls.
Speaking of Ferrell though, I do want to mention one thing : “Step Brothers”. It’s good, very good. I near shit myself laughing. I might even go so far as to say it’s the funniest film of the year (but then, remember, I am on pain killers for the foot). I haven’t laughed this hard since the fat teacher at school took a stumble down the stairs. My gut still hurts from laughing (about the teacher too).
There are moments of true conviviality in this one – and I’m not being paid by a studio to say that (and haven’t been paid to say anything nice about a film since the “Species 3 : The Awakening†pay-off). “Step Brothers†is the Will Ferrell film you – and your aching foot – have been waiting to see since the former TV comic started getting that exorbitant fee of his (Meanwhile, his old SNL buddy Chris Kattan is living on food stamps) – one I don’t think he’s totally worthy of. Yet. But then Mike Myers probably earns the same, and he’s about as gifted as a horse capable of impromptu bowel movements; suddenly Ferrell’s wage seems fair.
I’d say the magical ingredient of “Step Brothers†is its cast and crew. Producer Judd Apatow (“Knocked Upâ€), writer/director Adam McKay (“Talladega Nightsâ€, “Anchormanâ€) and actor John C. Reilly, reuniting with Ferrell after their bravura double-act in 2006’s “Talladega Nightsâ€. All three guys know comedy, they’ve shown us that in the past, and no doubt all three don’t want the latest Ferrell film to be playing to an empty audience in the kiddie video room at Pumpkin Patch like his last few were (But then, another welcome element of this film is how dirty and ‘adult’ the humour is, unlike the last couple of Ferrell films, which could’ve easily been shown on a big-screen Plasma at a kiddie crèche, so don’t expect to see this one screening on a box in any department store… not unless the sound’s turned down. And even then, someone will have to be on hand to fast-forward over that bit where Ferrell gets out his prosthetic testicles).
In a nutshell (god, what is it with this review? Seems to be all about balls!), the film stars Ferrell and Reilly as two spoilt forty-year-old guys, both still living at home, who are forced to share a room when their single parents (Mary Steenburgen and Richard Jenkins) get married.
It really isn’t until Brennan (Ferrell’s) self-righteous asshole of a brother (played my good bud Adam Scott, “Knocked Upâ€) arrives, that the two step-brothers decide to start getting along.
The sleep-walking scene, the crying-at-the-table scenes, the ridiculous-fights, the balls-on-the-drum scene… there’s a heap of bound-to-be classic moments in this film.
It’s a nice return to form for Ferrell – – and further corroboration that he needs to just do movies with Reilly from here on out.
Look, the film probably isn’t as successful as “Talladega Nights†– but only because it dips in the third act, and even that isn’t so big a deal. It’s just that McKay totally overlooks some terrific opportunities for gags here and instead sets his sights clearly on the finish line – undoing some of the good work he did earlier on. From the 70 minute mark, the film winds down… and it’s still got another 20 minutes or so to go. They needed to fill the laugh tank up with a lot more petroleum in that third act. Still, considering how torturous Ferrell’s last couple of films were, this is a negligible beef, because on the whole, it’s probably the big guy’s funniest flick in eons.
I’d love to sit Ferrell, Myers… and some of these other guys, down to watch some of the 80s classics. It’s then they’d realize that there is a way to rescue some of the shit they shovel. “The Great Outdoorsâ€, for instance, was a terrible movie. The script was absolutely tripe. What saved it? Two highly-energized and very funny performances by John Candy and Dan Aykroyd. The guys were on the ball. Thing is, they were always on the ball (Aykroyd’s still on the ball – check him out in say “War Inc.†or “Grosse Pointe Blankâ€, he’s very funny. Unfortunately, he’s expired as far as Hollywood’s concerned. Once you’re over 40, and don’t have shares in Malpaso, you’re not worth dealing with).
Here’s some classics…..
Chevy Chase in “Caddyshack”
Chevy in the frickin-legendary “National Lampoon’s Vacation
Some choice moments from “Trading Places”
Judge Reinhold – great in “Stripes”!
Steve Martin, at his best, in “Little Shop of Horrors”
So how about it? Let’s get Chevy Chase back to do another “Vacation†(there were rumours at one stage of a “Dowunder Vacation†– bring it on! I’d love to see what Clark does around a Koala!), let’s get Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy in another film together (Heck, there’s always room for a “Trading Places†sequel!), and how about resurrecting the “Three Amigos!� ? Hmm?
There’s a lot of life still left in the great comic stars of the 80s – – you’ll regret not using them when they’re dead and gone… and you’re left with Dane Cook, Owen Wilson and . Nothing against any of those guys, but they’re of a whole different breed. I’d watch ten Judge Reinhold movies over one Chris Rock comedy any day, wouldn’t you?
On a final note…
Speaking of different breeds….. which planet in the Star Wars system does George Lucas come from? I mean, he’s burning more bridges than a Troll who hasn’t been paid his toll lately.
You’ll have read about Moriaty from Aint it Cool and how he has been banned from the Lucas Ranch FOREVER. The whole George Vs. Drew situation kicked off a few years back when the writer reviewed the “Phantom Menace†script way before the film’s release. Since then, Lucas has had his moles watching Moriarty’s every move. You’ll have heard that this week Lucasfilm put an embargo on “Clone Wars†reviews until Friday – – funny thing is, only Aint it Cool were informed of the embargo. Seems it was a direct kick in the nuts to them – Lucasfilm just didn’t want them talking about their film, fearing whatever they had to say would be negative.
But really, what are Lucasfilm gaining by not treating Aint it Cool nice? They’re the biggest website on the planet. In their case, any publicity is good publicity. Wouldn’t you rather people are actually aware of a film’s existence? There’s a couple of studios that don’t deal with Moviehole for the same reason – they know we’re not for sale, so they just pretend we don’t exist. By having an opinion, you’re automatically on a shit-list it seems.
And what’s funny is, Moriarty actually liked ‘Clone Wars’ – to an extent. He was like one of the only people in the reviewing community to accept the film for what it is. Still, Lucasfilm slapped a ban on them reviewing the film until the release date. Meanwhile, everyone else – kicking off with the trades, of course – were free to run their ‘scathing’ reviews.
We’ve had a run-in with Lucasfilm this year too. Yep. Remember when Moviehole was shut down? Yep, yanked by – – – we were told Paramount; it wasn’t Paramount at all – well, not entirely… it was actually Lucasfilm pulling the strings. We had “linked†– yes, “linked†– to a synopsis of “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull†on another website. And as that link wasn’t removed, they put the Vader grip on the site. By the morning, we were gone. Within a week, we were losing money… readers… and the ability to say anything nice about “Crystal Skull”.
And it’s not the first time Lucas has shut down a site – he’s taken down fan sites, “Star Wars†fun pages (there was once a site that allowed you to replicate the opening CRAWL scene from the “Star Wars” flicks. He had it erased), and anything else related to his franchise that he hasn’t personally agreed to. And don’t even get us started on fan-films – – – he crushes them like rebels in a trash compactor. Sad, aren’t the kids merely showcasing their love of Lucas’s beloved series? Anyone else would be honored.
More cheek than Neck. Lucas sure has the power, doesn’t he!? But by doing stuff like that to us, and what he did to Aint it Cool, he’s losing his most loyal fans – those that are probably responsible for furnishing the Ranch! I’ve lost a lot of respect for the man because of – well, the prequels, but also – the way his shingle treated us this year. And I know Aint it Cool has too – to the point where Moriarty says he’s no longer going to be writing about “Star Wars†anything. Fair enough.
I’m not going to that extreme, but I have decided to ditch seeing “The Clone Wars†on the big screen – and coming from the guy who paid to see every Star Wars film several times, as well as “Caravan of Courage†and “Battle for Endor†at cinemas, that’s a big something. I’m interested to see it. But I’m not going to. I can’t seem to do it. My wallet won’t let me. I’m sure Lucas won’t even notice that I haven’t put my $15.50 down for his latest film… but I sure will. And it feels good – Handjob-from-Schmi-Skywalker good.
Anyway, I have to go and drain this leg brace of sweat, and cook up some Dinosaur-shaped noodles…. let’s talk next week. Maybe by then someone will have greenlit a “Spies Like Us” sequel… or something.
