Caffeinated Clint
Because there aren’t enough Giant Crocodile movies out there – I include also, of course, the Tom and Pammy Honeymoon video – Disney lets loose another – one with teeth as sharp as the sides of an eraser.
Dominic Purcell, Brooke Langton, Orlando Jones, Jürgen Prochnow, Gideon Emery, Gabriel Malema
Because there aren’t enough Giant Crocodile movies out there – I include also, of course, the Tom and Pammy Honeymoon video – Disney lets loose another – one with teeth as sharp as the sides of an eraser.
The Michael Katleman directed “Primeval” – or “Anaconda 3: the Crocodile” as it’s probably known to VCD vendors in Asia – fixes on a news team who is sent to South Africa to detain and bring home a renowned 25-foot crocodile. Their difficult task turns potentially fatal when a warlord targets them for death.
Dominic Purcell, the muscly star of TVs “Prison Break”, tries his best to play the straight-up likeable hero here. Though he looks the part, there’s something about his demeanour that suggests he’s got a few skeletons in the closet… you never quite believe he’s on your side. Maybe it’s the bald head? Maybe it’s the grimace?
Fairing slightly better is Sandra Bullock look-a-like Brooke Langton who plays the brawn’s cluey aide.
Though it never strives to be anything other than ‘’Jaws in the Jungle’’, “Primeval” still gets a whipping for its unbelievably silly plot, overdramatic but and uninteresting performances and an extra lash for its superfluous history lesson on African genocide. Instead of trying to blend popcorn with purpose, the filmmakers should’ve stuck to the one tone – i.e. tongue-in-cheek horror film – and skipped the bits about hard-up Africa. Superficial politicizing is about as welcome here as Robert Downey Jr is in your kid’s bed.
There’s only one or two good scares here – maybe only one now that I think of it – but they’re enough to suffice a rental on discount day. Maybe.
Extras include a brief making-of, a commentary and some cut-for-a-reason additional scenes.
Rating : 
Reviewer : Clint Morris
