Caffeinated Clint
This week I’ve done a photo shoot that’s stunned my eyebrows into a permanent horizontal stiffness, an all encompassing interview with national radio, made a nurse laugh, and did my ‘Eddie Maguire break dancing’ imitation to a couple of my employees (does your boss do that for you, I ask? No! You should get a Clint! they’re cheap!) – thought it time I also donated some time to my award-winning (mum voted it ‘best movie column by one of my son’s written all day’ in 2010) column, Psst!
I’ve unglued my hand from the phone, plugged a mac into a patio socket so I can swim in these rays (sun, that is, Zellweger’s character from Jerry Maguire didn’t suddenly repopulate and slap the same name on the offspring as her first — worst joke of the day or your ISP host fee back!) , and have turned down ‘Any way you want it…’ from the office speakers so I can concentrate on the bridge I’m about to burn…er, news I’m sharing.
First, let’s talk tights.
Not the ones under my silk slacks, but the one’s belonging to my favourite sandy-haired alien in the red diddle-me boots and chest logo.
A bit of a wine-flowing work shindig last night, bringing the worlds of publicity, promotion, and merchandise-pimpers together, resulted in a little scoopsie being leaked over Shiraz via an associate.
It shouldn’t surprise anyone, what with how many pancakes these superhero movies have flipped at the box office of late (especially “The Avengers” which has poured an abundance of rich maple syrup on Disney’s porcelain), not to mention the exciting impending arrival of a new ‘Superman’ movie (Zack Snyder’s “Man of Steel”, out 2013, brings Superman back to cinemas in a biggish way), but DC and Warner Bros have turned their attention to, if you’ll excuse the pun, relaunching that buxom illegal immigrant Supergirl.
The first attack in a new all-encompassing marketing blitz thatll hopefully see young teenage girls go gaga for the ‘Supergirl’ brand – the same way they do, say, Minnie Mouse or Dora the Explorer – is about to begin in the form of a massive clothing and merchandising launch that’ll put Kara’s ‘S’ in a million places at once. Those involved in the launch of this new Supergirl garb blitz say their job is merely the first cog in a massive wheel that’ll spin out new ‘Supergirl’ material over the next couple of years. One of the other cogs, of course, is the feature film that’ll relaunch Supergirl back onto the big screen for the first time since 1984.
Now this, mind you, is not something my contacts know a lot about – being that it’s not ‘their department’ but what they do know is plans are definitely afoot to bring ‘Supergirl’ back to our screens. And soon.
(Damp yet, fellas? I know I am! And we know how dangerous it is for liquid to float in the same vicinity as electric sockets)
At present, there’s rumours of a splashy live-action motion picture, but also a DVD premiere. That could mean both. That could mean one. Can’t get a concrete answer on that.
If they’ve plans to smother the globe in glittery S’s, it could well be both.
But then, considering how unsuccessful the last ”Supergirl” movie was (granted, that was before most of us had even had our first in-cinema feel-up) and the fact Superman’s cousin has never been as much of a draw card as the man himself (girls having cooties and all), maybe Warner Bros are considering doing something via their direct-to-DVD ‘Warner Premiere’ label? (It was decided to relaunch ‘The Lost Boys’ brand by means of a series of direct-to-DVD movies via the label rather than spend the production and marketing bucks on getting them back in the multiplexes, after all). It’d still make a packet, and cost far less to make.
But then, there’s the risk of tarnishing the brand with something cheap and nasty – and likely without the kind of big name cast a feature would have. And personally, I think Cuba Gooding Jr would look nasty in the Supergirl outfit. So here’s hoping the whiteboard at Warners does have ‘Supergirl. Big Screen. Soon’ scrawled* on it.
(*Right next to “Rape the boyfriend’s wallet; charge an extra $5 for tickets by putting it in 3D”).
Again, these guys in merch-land don’t know any of the specifics of the film plans just that a ”Supergirl’ movie is a priority.
Now let’s talk casting. Should Warner decide to go the big screen route with Supergirl, who would make for a good Kara, you think?
Back in the early ’90s, before she inherited Batgirls tights, I may have said Alicia Silverstone. But then, I’m bias – I love Clueless chicks in funky, undersized clothes with a penchant for expunging coldness in unwanted areas (that’s a nod to that film’s villain, Mr Freeze – – of course).
These days? Hmmm, Jennifer Hawkins, the model, is the perfect age and shape for the character but her acting ability is to be determined. Guess a casting couch could be used to….
And…Same thing with Taylor Swift, she has a great look for the character. But can she pull it off performance wise? We know she could bring the theme song with her, but what about speaking all those difficult lines? (‘I am your cousin. I also come from Krypton. Hey, do you have iphones down here on Earth?’) I just.. dunno.
Guessing every young pretty blonde thing in Hollywood – from Katie Cassidy (“Melrose Place”) to Maggie Grace (“Taken”) and Amber Heard (“Drive Angry”), maybe even ‘Ray’ from “Jerry Maguire” – would demand a look-in, but as they usually do, Warners would likely induct a global search spanning half-a-decade in their hunt for the perfect person.
What about Laura Vandervoot, that foxy ms fox who played the character on TV’s “Smallville”? (Though Warners do seem determined not to give anyone from that show a look-in when it comes to big-screen ventures featuring the same characters).
Before we get onto the next item, I can hear one of the girls playing a classic inside…
“I wannnnna know what love is… I want you to show me… I want to knowwww what love is!!! I want you to show me….”
Annnnnnd… done.
Pop another coin in the slot and I’ll kick right back up again.
Anyway….
Speaking of both beauties and casting, my good friend Juliet Landau (“Buffy” fans will remember her as Drusilla; her pop Martin remembers her as ‘darling daughter’) has been cast in the much-talked-about “Raging Bull II”.
The flick, starring William Forsythe as Jake LaMotta, is gearing up for a shoot in a couple of weeks.
Landau, who is playing the role of a Starlet in the pic, is one of several beautiful young things that have joined the cast. Penelope Anne Miller, of “The Artist”, ’90s siren Natasha Henstridge (“Species”) and Alicia Witt (“Friday Night Lights”) are also locks.
Henstridge is playing Sally, and Witt is Denise Baker.
Phwoar! Phwoar! Phwoar!
Writer/Director Martin Guigui has courted a rather splashy cast for the biffo biopic; he’s also secured the services of Joe Mantegna (“Criminal Minds”) to play Rick Rossellini, “Beverly Hills Cop” alum James Russo is playing Rocky Graziano, “Twin Peaks” fave Ray Wise is father Joseph; Robert Davi (“Die Hard”) is Aaron Levy, “X-Men” alum Bruce Davison is D.A. Bonomi, and the awesome Paul Sorvino is playing LaMotta’s father, Giuseppe.
Oh…
Speaking of the talented Landau family, father Martin – Queen should really fly over and add a ‘Sir’ to that man’s name, he deserves it – has been enlisted to star in “Blood on the Border”, a project from the prolific Jason Hewitt, producer of the upcoming Greg Koontz book cum film “Odd Thomas”.
“Border”, which also attracted the interests of Brittany Snow (“Hairspray”) and James Russo (“Public Enemies”), is a thriller about the DEA agents assigned to squish the Juarez Drug Cartel.
Yes, it’s a musical comedy with Zach Galifianakis.
Not.
They’re aiming for a 2013 release for that pup.
And finally, before I make love to this bottle of Sugar Free red bull and grilled chicken.. thing…
I hear there’s heat gathering on a project that’s bound to wet the nappies of comedy boffins – old pals and ’80s movie companions Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd, you may have heard, are working on a new two-hander together. The “Spies Like Us” and “Nothing in Common” are pitching their little laffer around town as we speak, based on a script they both wrote, and it’s attracted interest. DW films is handling the project, the plot of which is being kept under wraps, but with a “Spies Like Us” remake in the works, I’d say it’s pretty safe to say that, sadly, it ain’t a sequel to their 1986 beauty. What I’m told is that “It’s actually really funny. Should be good!”, according to one studio exec, who wouldn’t comment on whether his shingle are vying to pick it up. Meanwhile both Aykroyd and Chase are still trying to push new “Ghostbusters” and “Vacation” projects uphill, the latter not connected to the reboot but based on a script Chase and co-star Beverly D’Angelo wrote together. It must be sucky for Aykroyd and Chase, they’re forced to simply sit and watch helplessly as some of their classics – be it “Vacation”, “Fletch”, “Spies Like Us” and now, I’m hearing, “Trading Places” – are remade and go onto become favourites of an audience who’ve never heard of ‘Saturday Night Live’, ‘SCTV’, ‘corded phones’ and ‘KY’. Here’s hoping this Aykroyd/Chase thing is a comedic swansong of “Gran Torino” proportions for the ageing funny fellas.
Anyway, I have to go slap a few writers around and order someone to make a collage of Amber Heard piccies for my filing cabinet’s blank side.
P.S – Anyone else excited about the prospect of Julianne Hough, Def Leppard tracks and ear-piercing electric guitar in one movie!? A week before “Rock of Ages” begins! It’s the Final CountDOWN!
I’m gonna harden my heart
I’m gonna swallow my tears
I’m gonna turn…and…leave you here…..
Clint.
